Beneath the Surface

Removing triggers vs building strength

Shannon Beer — Mon, 11 May 2026 05:00:58 GMT

Are you removing triggers or actually building strength? In this episode I'm unpacking experiential avoidance: why we avoid uncomfortable emotions and experiences, why it feels so justified in the moment, and why it quietly keeps us stuck in the long run.

Key takeaway: Avoidance offers short-term relief but long-term stagnation. Every time you approach something you've been avoiding, you prove to yourself that you have the capacity to handle it and that is how self-assurance is actually built.

💬 Ready to start building the strengths you need to approach what you've been avoiding? Submit a coaching inquiry via this link 🔗 Coaching

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Timestamps:

00:00 - What is experiential avoidance?

00:55 - Why removing a trigger isn't the same as building a strength

02:30 - When removing triggers is actually okay, and the compassionate motive that makes the difference

03:45 - Why losing weight to build confidence is fragile

04:15 - The benefits we unknowingly give up when we avoid certain triggers

06:50 - How experiential avoidance showed up in my own life

07:55 - The risk log: a weekly practice from functional analytic psychotherapy that changed things for me

09:00 - Why things might get harder before they get easier when you start being more assertive

09:40 - How approaching what you've been avoiding actually builds self-assurance over time

10:00 - A question to sit with this week

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Enjoying Beneath the Surface? Leave a review and share it with someone who needs to hear this.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Intellectualising instead of feeling

Shannon Beer — Mon, 04 May 2026 05:00:58 GMT

If you're someone who loves to understand the why behind everything — the science, the patterns, the theory — this episode is for you. Intellectualizing can be a genuine strength, but it can also become the very thing that keeps you stuck. I'm unpacking how to spot when you're explaining instead of feeling, and what to do about it.

Key takeaway: Understanding is the beginning of the process, not the destination. At some point, the work stops being about learning more and starts being about being willing to feel more. If you've learned a lot and still feel stuck, you're not doing it wrong, you're simply ready for the next level.

💬 If you're ready to start integrating what you know and building up those lagging emotional muscle groups, I'd love to support you. Submit a coaching inquiry via this link 🔗 Coaching

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Timestamps:

00:00 - What is intellectualisation?

02:20 - Why intellectualising develops in the first place

03:15 - The crucial difference between understanding something and actually doing something

04:00 - Where in your life are you explaining instead of feeling?

05:00 - The social dimension: why our culture prizes intellect over emotion

05:50 - What it actually looks like to interrupt the pattern

06:30 - Three questions to catch intellectualizing in the moment

07:30 - A practical body-based practice: describing sensations instead of explaining feelings

08:30 - Compassionate colour and other tools for sitting with discomfort rather than thinking your way out of it

10:40 - Putting these techniques into practice

11:15 - The shift from knowing more to being willing to feel more

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Enjoying Beneath the Surface? Leave a review and share it with someone who needs to hear this.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Emotional reasoning in business

Shannon Beer — Mon, 27 Apr 2026 05:00:58 GMT

When your coaching business isn't where you want it to be, it's tempting to overhaul your website, revisit your ideal client, or build out new resources. But what if those urges are being driven by emotion rather than evidence? In this episode, I'm breaking down emotional reasoning in business — what it is, how to spot it, and how to make clearer, steadier decisions that actually move things forward.

Key takeaway: When business feels stuck, the instinct is to fix something visible. But often what needs addressing first is what's happening underneath. Data gives you an objective reference point; emotional awareness stops you wasting time solving the wrong problem.

💬 Want support working through the emotions that are getting in the way of running your business with clarity? Submit a coaching inquiry via this link 🔗 Coaching

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Timestamps:

00:00 – Why emotional reasoning is one of the biggest things holding coaches back

01:10 – What emotional reasoning is, and how it shows up in business

02:50 – The confidence myth in coaching — why doubt is normal, and what to address instead

03:00 – Helpful vs. fear-driven motives

04:00 – Trigger #1: Comparison

05:10 – Trigger #2: Making decisions from a place of uncertainty

07:20 – Trigger #3: Endlessly refining

08:15 – How to use data as an objective anchor when emotions are driving your decisions

09:20 – The one question to ask first when your coaching isn't selling

10:00 – Separating the emotional work from the practical next steps

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Enjoying Beneath the Surface? Leave a review and share the episode with a fellow coach who needs to hear this.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Emotional regulation vs integration

Shannon Beer — Mon, 20 Apr 2026 05:00:48 GMT

If you've tried breathing techniques, journaling, or urge surfing and the emotions just keep coming back — this episode is for you. I'm breaking down the difference between managing emotions in the moment and actually changing how you feel long-term, and why that distinction could be the missing piece in your progress.

Key takeaway: Emotion regulation helps you cope in the moment. Emotion integration is what actually changes your emotional landscape over time, and it works by finding and building tolerance for the emotion you've been avoiding, not the one that's loudest.

💬 Ready to go beyond the in-the-moment tools and work on the deeper patterns? Submit a coaching inquiry through the link below, I'd love to support you through this process.

🔗 Coaching

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Timestamps:

00:00 – Why your go-to coping tools might only be scratching the surface

00:55 – How I define emotion regulation

02:00 – When emotion regulation *is* useful

02:50 – What emotion integration actually means

03:45 – A deep dive example: social anxiety, and the hidden emotion that's actually driving it

05:20 – Why blocked anger can show up as anxiety — and what healthy anger is really there to do

06:30 – What this looks like in practice

07:45 – My personal experience getting in touch with my own anger, and why it changed everything

08:40 – The Steady Mind: why we build this first before turning towards difficult emotions

09:20 – Two questions to get you started on your own emotion integration journey

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Found this helpful? Share it with someone who might need to hear it, and leave a review to help more people find the show.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Why do I always blame myself? Unpacking self blame

Shannon Beer — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 05:00:27 GMT

Have you ever caught yourself thinking "I should be able to do this, why can't I just get it together?" In this episode, I'm unpacking self-blame: where it comes from, why we developed it, and how to take responsibility for our lives without turning on ourselves.

💬 If you'd like deeper, more long-term support working through these patterns I'd love to hear from you. Submit a coaching inquiry via the link below.

🔗 Coaching

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Timestamps:

00:00 – The inner critic's greatest hits — and why they're keeping you stuck

01:15 – What self-blame actually is, and when it can be constructive vs. destructive

02:30 – Why self-blame developed as a learned safety strategy

04:20 – How blaming yourself protects you from anger, sadness, and feelings of helplessness

06:00 – My real-life illustration of self-blame vs. responsibility in action

08:45 – The crucial difference between fault and responsibility — and why it changes everything

09:50 – Practical steps to begin noticing your self-blame patterns

10:40 – The fear beneath the pattern and why that's where your compassion needs to go

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Enjoyed this episode? Leave a review and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

It's not resistance, it's fear

Shannon Beer — Mon, 06 Apr 2026 17:00:52 GMT

In this episode of Beneath the Surface I challenge the common coaching assumption that struggling to follow through automatically means “resistance” and I introduce a clearer framework of blocks, resistance, and fears.

With rest (or lack of it) as an example, I unpack how understanding the root cause of our limitations can help us to shift our mentality and be more compassionate towards ourselves.

Timestamps:

00:25 – Why “resistance” is oversimplified

01:30 – Blocks: external limits on rest

03:20 - Resistance: not seeing the benefit of rest

04:55 - Fears: knowing it helps but still can’t rest

07:55 - Compassion, courage, and origins of overworking/rest guilt

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Working through performance anxiety

Shannon Beer — Mon, 30 Mar 2026 05:00:05 GMT

I’m kicking off the self-sabotage series of Beneath the Surface with a real-time example of how I worked through performance anxiety before running my first ever half marathon.

In this episode, I walk through the exact tools I used, including an approach from Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), reframing perfectionist thinking, and the self-talk that helped me stay focused during the race.

If you’ve ever felt pressure around a goal you really care about, this episode will help you hold high standards without letting anxiety sabotage you.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Performance anxiety before my first half marathon

02:30 – The hidden belief driving the pressure

04:15 – Reframing goals: preference vs demand

06:00 – Perfectionism, social pressure, and self-compassion

08:30 – Returning to the why

10:00 – Self-talk and mindset during the race

12:15 – A question to reflect on for your own goals

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Reframing self sabotage

Shannon Beer — Mon, 23 Mar 2026 06:00:06 GMT

Welcome to season 3 of my newly renamed podcast Beneath the Surface.

In this episode I explore safety strategies — the hidden drivers behind behaviours like emotional eating, procrastination, overworking, doom scrolling, and people-pleasing. I explain the science behind these behaviours, and why, when our threat system is activated it is harder to access logical thinking and choose differently.

I also introduce the soothe system and the idea of developing a “steady self” — an observing part of the mind that helps you respond to these patterns with awareness rather than being driven by them.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Season 3 introduction

00:38 – What safety strategies are

01:45 – Why all behaviors serve a function

02:35 – The brain’s threat system

03:45 – Amygdala, stress hormones & reactivity

05:20 – Why change feels hard in the moment

06:10 – The soothe system

07:10 – Why soothing can feel difficult

08:00 – Developing the “steady self”

09:00 – Understanding emotional parts

09:40 – Reflecting on your safety patterns

10:27 – Wrap up

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Changes are coming

Shannon Beer — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 06:00:14 GMT

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

How coaching works

Shannon Beer — Mon, 09 Mar 2026 06:00:24 GMT

In this episode of Stronger Standards, I break down how coaching actually works.

I share how my work has evolved from nutrition and body image into Compassion Focused approaches, and why self-compassion alone isn’t enough. I explore why receiving support can feel harder than giving it — and why that flow of compassion is often the missing piece.

I explain:

Why insight doesn’t automatically create emotional change
The difference between rigid, tick-box coaching and skill-based transformation
How we build what I call a “steady self” (your inner secure base)
Why pacing matters (you don’t have to feel everything all at once)
How Compassionate Mind Training strengthens your soothing system
How to sign up for coaching with me and my team

If you’re smart, self-aware, and know exactly what to do… but still find yourself stuck when it comes to real, lasting change, then coaching could definitely be for you.

If you have any questions or thoughts I would love to hear from you.

🔗 Links mentioned:

– Coaching waitlist

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Timestamps:

00:00 – Why change feels confusing (even when you “know better”)

02:15 – My evolution into compassion-focused coaching

04:30 – Why self-compassion isn’t the whole picture

06:10 – Insight vs. emotional change: the real block

08:05 – Therapy vs. rigid coaching: what’s missing

09:40 – Building your “steady self” and secure inner base

12:00 – The core psychological skills we train

14:15 – Pacing emotional work (like progressive overload)

16:00 – How Compassionate Mind Training regulates emotion

17:45 – What working together actually looks like

19:00 – What changes when you cultivate strong (not harsh) standards

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Take more risks

Shannon Beer — Mon, 02 Mar 2026 06:00:51 GMT

This episode drops on my birthday 🎂 and as I step into a new decade, I’m reflecting on the risks that shaped my life, and why playing it safe might actually be the biggest risk of all.

In this episode, I share:

How taking risks built my resilience
Why your brain defaults to safety
How to stop letting fear make your decisions
The role of social support in building courage

🔗 Links mentioned:

– Coaching waitlist

Timestamps:

00:00 – Why risk matters

02:00 – The one-way flight that changed my life

06:00 – Why fear keeps us stuck

08:00 – The “fear tax” & the real cost of comfort

09:30 – The question: *If I wasn’t afraid, what would I do?*

11:00 – Compassion, courage & the science of support

12:30 – Coaching & next steps

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

The three Cs of change

Shannon Beer — Mon, 23 Feb 2026 06:00:51 GMT

In this episode of Stronger Standards I talk about the simple framework I come back to whenever I feel stuck: The 3 Cs of Change.

If you’re feeling stuck in your growth, whether it’s with food, your body, your business, or your confidence, this episode is for you.

I cover:

What the 3 Cs of change are
How missing one or more of the Cs can impact your life
How to use this framework to focus your energy where you need it most

🔗 Links mentioned:

– Coaching waitlist

Timestamps:

00:00 - Why feeling stuck doesn’t mean change isn’t possible

02:10 - Why “clarity” isn’t actually what you need (and how action creates clarity)

04:00 - C #1 - Curiosity

06:30 - How understanding your patterns builds self-compassion

08:00 - C #2 - Courage

09:30 - Building your internal secure base + safe haven

10:45 - C #3 - Commitment

12:00 - The question to ask when you feel stuck

12:30 - Coaching waitlist + how to support yourself if you’re doing this alone

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Rethinking Distress Tolerance

Shannon Beer — Mon, 16 Feb 2026 06:00:56 GMT

In this episode of Stronger Standards I unpack what distress tolerance actually means, and why pushing through isn’t always beneficial.

I explain:

The impact of learned association on emotions
Why slowing down can feel threatening for high achievers
How to cultivate a compassionate brain state so you can regulate instead of react

🔗 Links mentioned:

– Coaching waitlist

Timestamps:

00:00 – The myth of pushing through

02:30 – High functioning vs. thriving

05:00 – Emotional differentiation explained

08:00 – Why slowing down feels hard

11:00 – Compassion as real resilience

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Building self trust after setbacks

Shannon Beer — Mon, 09 Feb 2026 06:00:33 GMT

You’re intelligent, capable, and deeply self-aware — so why do you keep starting things and not finishing them? In this episode, I’m breaking down self-efficacy, your confidence in your ability to follow through, and why it quietly erodes when you keep letting yourself down.

Rather than repeating the same surface-level advice, we look at what actually gets in the way — including self-criticism, unrealistic standards, and emotional barriers that sabotage consistency.

In this episode, I cover:

What self-efficacy really is — and how low self-efficacy keeps you stuck in stop–start cycles
Why setting goals for your “ideal self” backfires (and how to meet yourself where you are)
How small, realistic wins build confidence more effectively than big plans
The four key facilitators of self-efficacy
Why mindset alone isn’t enough — and the emotional skills required to stay consistent
How coaching helps you unlearn self-defeating patterns and build real trust in yourself

🔗 Links mentioned:

– Motivated Masterclass

– Coaching waitlist (NOW OPEN!)

I’ll see you in the next episode.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Why you start strong but don’t follow through

02:00 - What self-efficacy actually is

04:00 - How low self-efficacy keeps you stuck

06:00 - The mistake of setting goals for your ideal self

08:30 - Building confidence with small, realistic wins

11:00 - What actually facilitates self-efficacy

13:30 - Why reflecting on success matters

15:30 - How self-criticism and comparison undermine progress

17:30 - The emotional skills needed to stay consistent

19:00 - How coaching helps you break self-defeating cycles

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Embodying your steady self

Shannon Beer — Mon, 26 Jan 2026 06:00:49 GMT

We all have patterns that once kept us safe but now keep us stuck. In this episode of Stronger Standards, I explore how compassion isn’t about being “soft,” but about building the inner strength and steadiness needed to work with those patterns—without being driven by them.

I talk about:

Why old safety strategies keep us stuck
Compassion as a trainable brain state
Reflection vs. rumination (and venting)
Why self-compassion creates stronger boundaries
Key compassionate qualities: wisdom, strength, commitment
The role of play, posture, and embodiment
Using the body to support mindset change
Choosing small, daily actions that create lasting change

This episode is about becoming the version of yourself who can meet challenges with steadiness, intention, and aliveness—one small, embodied choice at a time.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction: Understanding Patterns and Compassion

00:42 - The Role of Compassion in Change

01:30 - Journaling and Self-Reflection

02:30 - Misconceptions About Compassion

03:05 - Qualities of Compassionate Minds

06:00 - Embodying Compassionate Qualities

10:30 - Using Body Posture to Support the Mind

13:51 - Starting the Day with Compassion

15:31 - Practical Actions to Embody Qualities

20:16 - Conclusion: Building Capacity to Show Up Differently

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Question your values

Shannon Beer — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 06:00:58 GMT

What if the values you’re most proud of are also the ones keeping you stuck? In this episode of Stronger Standards, I explore how “good” standards like reliability, resilience, discipline, and independence can quietly become fear-based safety strategies.

I talk about:

When “good” values quietly keep you stuck
The 'Cage of Unquestioned Standards'
Values shaped by safety, not authenticity
Same actions, different motives: toward vs. away
What your values are costing you
Recalibrating values with compassion, not fear

This episode invites you to notice how you relate to your values and whether they’re serving you, or keeping you stuck — and how to recalibrate your values with compassion.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction: The cage of unquestioned standards

01:00 - Safety strategies and identity formation

02:25 - Examples of limiting standards

04:06 - Intellectualization as a safety strategy

04:44 - Resilience and overcoming tolerance

05:57 - The impact of discipline on body image

06:43 - Reevaluating your relationship with values

10:18 - Practical steps to recalibrate your values

12:25 - Conclusion: building a better relationship with values

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Recalibration over reinvention

Shannon Beer — Mon, 12 Jan 2026 06:00:20 GMT

In this episode of Stronger Standards, I talk about why the pressure to reinvent yourself at the start of a new year can actually keep you stuck — especially if you struggle with all-or-nothing patterns. Instead, I share why recalibration is a more compassionate, sustainable way to create real change by working with your mind and body, not against them.

I cover:

Why New Year reinvention often keeps us stuck
Recalibration vs. starting over
The 'Fresh Start Effect' and self-pressure
Where safety behaviors (perfectionism, overworking, people-pleasing) come from
Why “just stop” goals don’t work
Using awareness instead of force to create change
Noticing thoughts, feelings, and body cues in real time
Compassion as the foundation for sustainable growth

If you’re tired of starting over every January, this episode is your invitation to slow down, get curious, and build change that actually sticks.

Timestamps:

00:00 - New year, new you?

01:00 - The fresh start effect

01:47 - The problem with wiping the slate clean

03:47 - Recalibration over reinvention

04:33 - Practical steps for recalibration

06:20 - Understanding safety behaviors

08:15 - Building awareness and compassion

11:48 - Final thoughts and next steps

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Courage to try again

Shannon Beer — Mon, 05 Jan 2026 06:00:00 GMT

In this episode of Stronger Standards, I break down why change feels so hard—especially when part of you wants to grow and another part is scared to try again. I explain how our brains and nervous systems are wired for safety, how old coping strategies can keep us stuck, and what actually helps change become sustainable. I also share personal reflections, practical exercises, and an invitation to think differently about the year ahead.

I cover:

Why change feels scary even when you want it
How the brain’s need for safety keeps us stuck
The role of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and overthinking
Why forcing change doesn’t last
How sustainable change comes from safety, not pressure
A reflection on how you want to feel in one year
Practicing new beliefs with compassion, not force

Keep an eye out for more Stronger Standards episodes, focused on small, meaningful changes that support a more fulfilling life.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction: overcoming the fear of change

01:24 - Understanding the brain's role in change

02:49 - Social threats and safety behaviors

03:50 - Implicit learnings and emotional regulation

04:55 - Safety strategies and their impact

07:09 - Challenges in making changes

09:14 - Building capacity for change

12:28 - Reflecting on future goals

15:22 - Practical tips for cultivating change

22:42 - Conclusion: embracing change with compassion

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

End of year reflection

Shannon Beer — Mon, 29 Dec 2025 06:00:17 GMT

In this episode of Stronger Standards, I explore how to reflect on the past year in a way that supports growth rather than self-criticism. Looking back can bring pride, pressure, frustration — or all of it at once. This episode offers a more compassionate approach to reflection that helps you learn from the year without getting stuck in shame or defeat.

I cover:

The difference between healthy self-critique and self-attacking
Why reflection needs compassion, and how avoidance or frustration can be useful information
Why focusing on experiences (not just achievements) helps us access contentment and fulfilment
What experiences stood out for me this year and what I learned from them
How to carry those lessons forward into the new year

Keep an eye out for more Stronger Standards episodes, focused on small, meaningful changes that support a more fulfilling life.

Timestamps

00:00 – Welcome & introduction

00:43 – Why reflection matters

01:26 – The difference between healthy self-critique and self-criticism

03:20 – A new approach: focusing on experiences, not achievements

05:08 – Experience 1: Greece trip and lessons in kindness

08:19 – Experience 2: The power of live music for well-being

11:55 – Experience 3: Recognizing and overcoming self-minimization

14:52 – Encouragement for your own reflection

15:23 – Final thoughts and what’s next

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

How to face the things you've been avoiding

Shannon Beer — Mon, 27 Oct 2025 08:55:19 GMT

What’s that thing you’ve been avoiding? Maybe it’s reflecting on your eating habits, having a difficult conversation, reaching out to make new friends, or showing up on social media. You know it matters—but that doesn’t make it easier to face.

In this episode, I unpack why avoidance feels good in the moment, why it costs you more than you realize, and—most importantly—how to start facing the things you’ve been putting off with compassion and courage.

You’ll learn:

Why your brain rewards avoidance (and how it keeps you stuck)
How to recognise when your threat system is taking over
The hidden cost of waiting until you feel ready
A simple two-question exercise to uncover what’s really behind your avoidance
How to take the smallest possible step forward—and build confidence from experience

You’ll walk away with a clear, compassionate framework to help you stop overthinking and start moving toward the life you actually want.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

[Q+A] How is compassion a motivation?

Shannon Beer — Mon, 13 Oct 2025 05:00:23 GMT

Most of us don’t put compassion and motivation in the same sentence. We think of compassion as soft, gentle, or even passive, and motivation as discipline, hustle, or force. But compassion is one of the most powerful motivators you can build.

In this listener Q+A, I break down why motivation isn’t a mood, how it’s really tied to emotion regulation, and why compassion is the brain state that helps you keep going without burning out.

You’ll learn:

Why 'I’ve lost my motivation' usually means you’re stuck in threat mode.
The difference between feelings, emotions, and motivation (and why it matters).
How the threat, drive, and soothe systems shape your ability to follow through.
What compassion actually does in the brain and why it motivates growth, not avoidance.
How compassionate motivation shows up not just in food and fitness, but in your work, relationships, and daily choices.

I’ll also walk you through a reflection exercise I give my clients:

👉 For me, compassion is…

👉 For me, compassion is not…

By the end, you’ll see why compassion isn’t about lowering your standards, it’s about pursuing them with adaptability, resilience, and self-respect.

🎧 Listen now to learn how compassion can become your strongest source of motivation.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

My Self Compassion Journey

Shannon Beer — Mon, 29 Sep 2025 07:00:06 GMT

Self-compassion started as an academic interest, then became something much more personal.

In this episode, I share my compassion journey, the lessons I learned and and why it’s become an ongoing practice that continues to shape me as a coach and as a person.

You’ll hear about:

Why the absence of criticism isn’t the same as the presence of courage, care, and wisdom.
What shifted me from head knowledge to lived experience (and why group experiences were so powerful).
The ways compassion has shown up in action—from moving countries to resting, to being more assertive in relationships.
The resistances I had to work through, like struggling to rest, money guilt, and minimising my own needs.
Why compassion is relational and often harder to receive than it is to give.
What I’m still working on now, and a reflection question to take into your own life.

If you’ve ever wondered what compassion could look like beyond theory, this conversation will give you both perspective and direction.

🎧 Listen now to hear the moments that shaped my journey and the practices that continue to support it.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

[Q+A] How does body image directly impact health behaviours?

Shannon Beer — Mon, 15 Sep 2025 11:00:47 GMT

When most people think of body image, they picture confidence, self-esteem, or how they feel when looking in the mirror. But body image goes far beyond appearance, and directly shapes the way we eat, move, rest, and care for ourselves.

In this listener Q+A episode of Stronger Standards, I break down exactly how body image influences health behaviours, for better or for worse.

You’ll learn:

The four components of body image (and why it’s about more than how you feel in your body).
How negative body image fuels patterns like over-exercising, restriction and binge cycles, and avoidance of self-care.
The often-overlooked trap of pride-driven over-control (why looking 'disciplined' can still be unhealthy).
What changes when body image improves, and how it leads to more consistent, enjoyable, and sustainable health habits.
Reflection questions to uncover whether your current behaviours are rooted in fear and control or self-respect and compassion.

If you’ve ever wondered why your relationship with your body affects your ability to follow through on healthy habits, this episode will connect the dots and show you a more supportive way forward.

🎧 Listen now and reflect: Which of your current health behaviors come from pressure and control—and which come from self-respect?

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

4 Pillars Of Intentional Eating

Shannon Beer — Mon, 01 Sep 2025 11:00:49 GMT

If you’ve ever felt stuck between two extremes, rigid dieting on one side and the 'it’s fine, just treat yourself' mindset on the other, then it's time to try something different. That's where Intentional Eating comes in - a middle ground that helps you meet your physical and psychological needs without calorie counting or rigid food rules.

I break down the 4 Pillars of Intentional Eating and how they can support you:

Structure – Why regular eating is key and how to use supportive routines (not rigid rules).
Nourishment – Meeting both physical needs and emotional needs without relying only on food.
Satisfaction – Bringing back flavour, variety, and permission to enjoy food.
Adaptability – Staying steady when life happens instead of spiraling into 'what’s the point' mode.

We’ll also cover:

Why traditional dietary restraint doesn’t actually work (and why it’s not your fault).
The false choice between working on body image or fat loss—and how intentional eating offers another way.
Practical first steps to move from all-or-nothing eating toward something more supportive and sustainable.

If you’re tired of feeling like you have to pick between “discipline” and “self-acceptance,” this conversation will help you find a path that actually fits your life.

🎧 Listen now to discover which of the four pillars would support you most right now.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Forgiving yourself for weight gain

Shannon Beer — Mon, 18 Aug 2025 05:00:58 GMT

If you’ve gained weight recently and feel ashamed, frustrated, or like you’ve somehow “failed,” this episode is here to offer something different: compassion and clarity instead of criticism.

What if your eating or movement changes weren’t you giving up… but your body and mind doing their best to cope with something hard?

In this episode, we explore:

Why weight gain often triggers shame, fear, and self-judgment
How life experiences shape our fears—and the protective behaviors that follow
What safety strategies are, and why emotional eating or overworking aren't failures
How to recognize the deeper purpose behind your behavior
What it actually means to forgive yourself—and how to do it without abandoning your goals

Whether you’ve been through a tough time, are stuck in old coping patterns, or just want to feel like yourself again, this episode will help you replace blame with understanding—and guide you toward the next supportive step.

🎧 Listen now to explore how self-forgiveness creates space for real change—without giving up on yourself.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Why motivation feels hard (even when you know what to do)

Shannon Beer — Mon, 04 Aug 2025 05:00:40 GMT

Ever say, “I know what to do, but I just can’t seem to do it”? You’re not alone—and no, it’s not a willpower problem.

In this episode, we’re unpacking why motivation often feels out of reach, even for intelligent, capable people who are doing a lot… but still feel stuck. Whether it's showing up for your body, your business, or your life, this conversation will help you understand what’s really going on underneath the struggle to follow through.

You’ll learn:

Why procrastination and “lack of motivation” are actually signs of something deeper
How the 3 emotional systems from Compassion Focused Therapy (threat, drive, soothe) influence your actions
What competitive vs compassionate motivation looks like—and why it matters
Why pushing through often leads to burnout, not change
How to reconnect with drive that feels grounded, aligned, and sustainable

This one’s for you if you're tired of high expectations leading to overwhelm, and you’re ready for a new way forward—one that balances high standards with self-compassion.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

How to clothes shop for a positive body image (especially in summer)

Shannon Beer — Mon, 21 Jul 2025 05:00:13 GMT

Struggling with clothes shopping after gaining weight, or just not feeling totally at ease in your body right now? You're not alone.

In this episode of Stronger Standards, I’m answering a listener question: How do you clothes shop in a way that supports positive body image, especially during summer?

We’ll explore how to:

Shop without reinforcing shame or hiding away
Use personal style as a way to express confidence (even if you're not feeling it yet)
Gently experiment with clothes, accessories, and embodiment
Step into your compassionate, confident “movie character” self—without faking it or forcing it

This isn’t about pretending to love your body.

It’s about dressing in ways that help you feel a little more like yourself today, while still working toward the changes you care about.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Why logical thinking hasn't worked (and what will)

Shannon Beer — Mon, 07 Jul 2025 05:00:56 GMT

You know your thoughts are irrational. So why can’t you feel or act differently?

This episode is for the self-aware overthinkers, the high-achievers who are frustrated because they know better… but still feel stuck.

Inside, we explore:

Why insight and journaling alone don’t create change
What “rational-emotive dissociation” is (aka head/heart lag)
How your emotional system might be underdeveloped — and what to do about it
Why you can’t just “think your way out” of self-criticism
The missing link between self-awareness and self-compassion

Whether you’re struggling with food, body image, or just being a person with high standards - this episode will help you understand why you feel stuck even when you’re trying so hard, and what it actually takes to close the gap between knowing better... and feeling and doing differently.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Why food feels like comfort (and what you really need)

Shannon Beer — Mon, 30 Jun 2025 05:00:04 GMT

If you’ve ever found yourself reaching for food—not out of hunger, but because you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or just need something—this episode is for you.

I'm walking you through what’s really happening in your brain and body when emotional eating shows up, and why it actually makes sense. More importantly, I’ll share what you can do instead - without shame, rules, or willpower.

Here’s what wecover:

Why comfort eating isn’t a failure—it’s a learned strategy your nervous system has relied on
The difference between safety and safeness, and how that shows up in daily life
How your brain learns to associate food with relief (and why that pattern repeats)
The role of your soothing system and how to start activating it on purpose
Why food brings short-term comfort but doesn’t meet your deeper needs
A weekly experiment to help you build other sources of comfort that actually work

This isn’t about replacing food with a walk or drinking water and hoping the urge passes.

It’s about understanding your emotions and building real tools to care for yourself - so food becomes a choice, not your only option.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Mindfulness for overthinkers: how to start

Shannon Beer — Mon, 23 Jun 2025 05:00:41 GMT

If your brain feels like it’s constantly “on”…

Planning, analyzing, over-preparing
Judging yourself, second-guessing choices
Stuck in your head instead of in your life…

And when you do try to slow down, you feel restless, guilty, or like you're doing it wrong—

This episode is for you.

e’re talking about mindfulness—what it really is, how it helps when your threat system is activated, and how to practice it without forcing calm or “doing it perfectly.” You’ll also be guided through a short, beginner-friendly practice you can return to anytime.

In this episode, you'll learn:

💭 Why mindfulness helps your brain and body shift out of fight-or-flight

📍 How to use your breath and senses to anchor attention (without pushing thoughts away)

🧠 What’s happening in the brain when you practice

⚠️ Common mindfulness myths (and how to avoid self-monitoring traps)

🌊 Why it’s best to practice when the “waters are calm,” not in the middle of a spiral

✨ Plus: a guided 5-minute mindfulness exercise you can replay anytime your mind starts racing.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Why you can’t stop overthinking (and what to do instead)

Shannon Beer — Mon, 16 Jun 2025 05:00:00 GMT

Do you ever...

Spiral after a conversation, replaying what you said on loop?
Freeze at a menu, unsure whether to eat what you want or what feels “right”?
Obsess over how you look, what you’ve eaten, or what others might be thinking?

You know you’re overthinking—but you can’t stop. And that’s when the self-blame kicks in:

🧠 “Why am I like this?”

🧠 “Why can’t I just let it go?”

🧠 “What’s wrong with me?”

In today’s episode, you’ll learn:

Why your brain wants to overthink—and how it’s actually trying to help
The difference between your old brain and new brain (and why they clash)
What happens when your brain tries to logic its way out of emotional pain
How to start working with your mind instead of getting stuck in spirals

This isn’t just a pep talk. It’s a compassionate, science-backed explanation of why you feel stuck—and what to do about it.

We’ll also explore:

The survival wiring behind self-doubt and people-pleasing
Real-life examples (like eating something “off plan” or replaying a rude comment)
How to gently step out of the spiral using mindfulness and soothing strategies

💡Key takeaway: Overthinking is not a flaw. It’s a feature of a tricky human brain. And once you understand what’s happening, you can choose a different response.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Self-reflection is the key to progress

Shannon Beer — Mon, 09 Jun 2025 05:00:00 GMT

If you’ve ever said, “I know why I do this, but I still can’t stop,” this episode is for you.

In today’s short reflection, we're diving into why understanding your patterns doesn’t automatically lead to change. Real growth comes through embodiment and intentional practice, not just information.

If you’ve been listening and learning but still feel stuck in self-critical cycles, this episode will gently invite you to pause, reflect, and reconnect with your progress.

Whether you’ve been working on softening your self-talk, building a steady mind, or supporting your body with more compassion—today’s episode is your reminder that real change happens when you slow down, reflect, and choose differently.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

Why understanding your mindset isn’t enough to create real change
The two common (and very human) reasons we avoid reflection
How to spot your own growth—even when your brain focuses on what’s not working
A simple journaling prompt to identify what’s still hard and what to do differently
The difference between urgent action and intentional change

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

How to stop being hard on yourself

Shannon Beer — Mon, 02 Jun 2025 05:00:30 GMT

If you're someone who is driven, self-aware, and constantly pushing to do better, but often feel like it's never enough... this episode is for you.

We’re unpacking why self-criticism can feel like a motivator but actually undermines your goals, and how to build a stronger relationship with yourself using science-backed self-compassion skills.

You’ll learn:

Why that inner critical voice feels familiar (and why it doesn’t actually help)
The difference between self-reflection and hostile self-attacking
What real self-compassion is—hint: it’s not fluffy or soft
How compassion affects your nervous system, motivation, and mental health
Practical tools to treat yourself with more respect without lowering your standards

Whether you're stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, perfectionism, or just exhausted from trying to do everything 'right' - this episode will help you take the pressure off without giving up on your goals.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Supporting your body on off days

Shannon Beer — Mon, 26 May 2025 05:00:36 GMT

We all have days where we feel disconnected from our bodies. But how you show up for yourself on those days matters most.

In this episode of Higher Standards, I’m sharing simple, science-backed ways to care for your body even when it feels hard — so you can stay connected to your life, your values, and yourself no matter how you feel.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction: Why bad body image days happen

03:30 – What is body image flexibility?

07:40 – Why positive thinking isn't the answer

10:50 – Small body care practices to ground yourself

14:30 – Dressing for the feeling you want

18:00 – Creating a morning ritual for difficult days

22:00 – Activating the soothe system through the senses

26:30 – Why small pleasures matter on hard days

30:10 – How to live fully even when discomfort shows up

34:00 – Final reflection: You are more than how you feel

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

How to become accountable to yourself

Shannon Beer — Mon, 19 May 2025 05:00:32 GMT

You’re reliable, capable, and always there for everyone else. But what happens when you keep showing up for others — and leave nothing for yourself?

In this episode of Higher Standards, we explore why over-responsibility develops, how it creates invisible exhaustion and imbalance in your relationships, and what it takes to start honouring your own needs with the same care you give to others.

You’ll learn why being reliable isn’t the problem — and why restoring balance starts with small, deliberate choices that reconnect you to yourself.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction: When being reliable goes too far

02:40 – Why we take on the “capable one” role

08:15 – How over-functioning creates invisible exhaustion

13:00 – The hidden cost: imbalance in relationships

17:20 – The cycle of resentment, guilt, and overgiving

22:00 – Why receiving support is essential for real connection

26:30 – The Equal Priority Framework

30:15 – Small actions you can take to restore balance

35:20 – Final reflection: You deserve the care you give so freely

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Build a STEADY mind (and finally follow through)

Shannon Beer — Mon, 12 May 2025 05:00:46 GMT

If you ever swing between all-or-nothing — starting a plan, then burning out or abandoning it — you’re not lacking discipline. You’re caught in emotional patterns that no one ever taught you how to work with.

In today’s episode of Higher Standards, I introduce the STEADY Mind approach: a science-backed framework that helps you work with your emotions, not against them — so you can follow through on what matters to you without the constant fight.

You'll learn:

Why following through isn't just about willpower — it’s about emotional regulation
How your emotion systems (threat, drive, soothe) pull you into impulsive or avoidant patterns
The six essential elements of the STEADY Mind Process™
How to start building the version of you that follows through — without the self-blame

You'll leave with a new understanding of why past plans haven't worked (no matter how much you wanted them to) — and a clear next step to start building real follow-through today. Tap the link to listen and start working with your mind, not against it.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to why following through feels hard

04:10 - Why self-criticism, perfectionism, and procrastination are emotional regulation problems

08:20 - How the STEADY Mind approach was developed

10:50 - S: Soothe your system (building emotional steadiness first)

15:45 - T: Tend to your body (self-care for energy and presence)

18:30 - E: Engage your values (moving toward what matters)

22:10 - A: Approach your emotions (support, not suppression)

27:05 - D: Deepen your connections (receiving support, building trust)

31:20 - Y: Yes to your joy (why joy isn’t optional for sustainable success)

36:00 - Real-life shifts that happen when you work with your emotion systems

40:00 - A practical first step you can take today

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

How to care about your appearance without obsession

Shannon Beer — Mon, 05 May 2025 05:00:06 GMT

Still care about your appearance, even while trying to accept your body? You’re not vain - and you don’t have to stop caring.

In this episode, I’ll show you how to build a healthy relationship with your appearance, without letting it define your self-worth. We’ll cover the research on adaptive appearance investment, signs to watch out for, and small shifts to care for your appearance in a healthy way.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction

03:30 – Body acceptance vs. positive body image

08:40 – Adaptive vs. maladaptive appearance investment

22:00 – Five principles for healthy appearance care

38:20 – Strategies to express personal style without obsession

47:10 – Final reflections and closing

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Working with your emotion systems

Shannon Beer — Mon, 28 Apr 2025 05:00:26 GMT

Ever struggle to follow through on your health, self-care and business goals - even when you know what to do?

In this episode, I break down the three emotional systems that drive our behaviours: Threat, Drive, and Soothe. You’ll learn how these systems evolved, how they show up in your day-to-day patterns, and why so many people get stuck in a loop of all-or-nothing thinking, self-criticism, and burnout.

By the end, you'll understand how to start working with your emotions, not against them

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro: Why you swing between extremes
02:12 – The 3 emotion systems explained
6:40 – How they show up in real life (and mess with your goals)
14:03 – Client story: perfectionism, shame, and unmet needs
18:27 – How your upbringing shaped your emotional regulation
21:55 – Working with your systems (not against them)
25:10 – What a balanced system feels like
27:48 – Free Emotion System Audit explained

If this episode helped you see your patterns differently, I’d love it if you shared it with a friend or left a review.

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Self compassion that actually works

Shannon Beer — Tue, 22 Apr 2025 05:00:00 GMT

If self-criticism feels like the only way to stay motivated, this episode will shift everything you thought you knew about discipline, growth, and what it really takes to create lasting change.

In this episode, Shannon explores why self-compassion is a high-performance skill — not a soft excuse — and how it helps you stay consistent, motivated, and emotionally resilient. You’ll learn what self-compassion actually is (and isn’t), why the “be hard on yourself” strategy backfires, and how to start practicing compassion in a way that genuinely works, even if it feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable at first.

Whether you're navigating burnout, perfectionism, or that constant sense that you're not doing enough, this conversation offers the science, mindset shifts, and practical tools to help you build a better relationship with yourself — and show up more powerfully in your life.

Key Takeaways:

Why self-criticism feels productive but actually sabotages your progress
The difference between self-compassion, self-indulgence, and self-pity
How compassion activates different systems in the brain than criticism
The science behind why self-compassion improves motivation and consistency
What self-compassion looks like in real-life situations — including emotional eating
How to start practicing self-compassion using guided reflection and imagery

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro + why this episode matters

01:30 – What self-compassion isn’t

06:50 – The real definition of self-compassion (Paul Gilbert vs. Kristin Neff)

13:45 – Self-compassion vs. self-indulgence

17:30 – What science and brain scans reveal about self-criticism vs. self-compassion

23:40 – Real-life client example: why shame never leads to lasting change

28:00 – Simple practices to build your self-compassion muscle

33:00 – Final reflections + how to take this work deeper

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who needs a little more compassion today!

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here

Welcome to Beneath the Surface

Shannon Beer — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 10:29:55 GMT

More Resources:

Grab the free mini-course: Emotion Systems Audit – Download here
Connect with Shannon on Instagram: @coachshannonbeer
Learn more about compassion coaching: g et the details here