So, what now?

Send him in to learn about sex-ed from this point of view or keep him home so that your point of view remains unchallenged?

It can be a tough decision, yet it can also be simple.

Are we trying to create clones of ourselves or raise kids that are free to be exactly who they are and can come and talk to us about anything under the sun?

The latter, right?

So maybe, we can ask him how he feels about it and also weigh up the pros and cons of being part of the lesson so together you and he can make a collaborative decision.

This in itself is a great life skill.

I’m sharing a few nuggets in today’s episode (if I do say so myself) and I look forward to hearing how you get on with them.

In today’s episode we cover:

1. The two sentence starters you can use to help you have a convo with your kid about how we all have different ways of thinking and/or seeing things.
2. What non-binary thinking is and how to explain it to your kid.
3. How to set a culture of collaboration with your kid so they can be involved in making decisions that affect them.

If you’d like to join us in the Evolve School where I teach the whole Evolved Family Method let me know here.

Until next episode,

x Sarah

And their job is to ask for help, no matter what.

And so if there is something that they need to talk about, they need to know they must ask for help.

As many times as possible, until they get it.

People being hurt by sex (this can happen for many reasons) is a difficult topic to speak about.

But having these kinds of chats with our kids is important.

For their growth and awareness.

So have a listen to this week’s episode to learn how to have this kind of talk with your kid.

Building the courage to speak openly with our kids about all kinds of topics is important for our own connection with them and ourselves.

If you need more support with this, feel free to reach out here and leave me your details. I’ll get back to you.

For now, have a listen to how we use courage to have complex conversations about difficult topics.

x Sarah

If you have a kid on the spectrum, you may question if this is still appropriate.

And it most definitely is.

Saying more as early as you can is how you protect them and support them in their uniqueness.

I’m giving 3 recommendations in this episode of how to chat with your kid, who’s on the spectrum.

Recommended Books:

Things Tom Likes by Kate E Reynolds

Things Ellie Likes by Kate E Reynolds

What’s happening to Ellie by Kate E Reynolds

What’s happening to Tom by Kate E Reynolds

The growing up book for boys by Davida Hartman

The growing up book for girls by Davida Hartman

Sensory: Life on the spectrum by Schnumn

Divergent Mind: Thriving in a world that wasn’t designed for you by Jenara Nerenberg

If you would like to learn all the strategies inside the growth, courage and kindness pillars let me know here.

Until next episode,

Sarah

Now this is not only awkward but it’s complex.

Where do you start with this?

What do you focus on?

What do you say?

Here’s the thing, it’s likely that you’re both shocked.

You: that she knows this information.

Her: that anybody would want to put their mouth on another’s private area.

So in this episode I'm going to show you how to help your kid who's fixated on the fact that people kiss each other's privates, if they're in a relationship.

Accept that kids talk (4:34)

What is consent (6:38)

Have a convo about sex? (8:30)

Want to learn the complete evolved family method that helps parents and other caring adults manage feelings of awkwardness while talking about quite complex details about bodies and sexuality?

Click here and I’ll send you some information.

Until next episode,

x Sarah

‘Girls don’t answer back.’

‘Don’t be awkward.’

How about, “It’s ok not to be hugged or kissed by (insert family member’s name)?”

Girls should know that they’ve a right to set boundaries and know what that looks and feels like.

That’s what being a courageous parent will help you do.

It will help you support your little girl in setting healthy boundaries around her body.

Today’s episode highlights that it doesn't matter what age your kid is, you can speak up for them until they're old enough to speak up for themselves.

In today’s episode you’ll learn:

• What The Family Cringe Crusher is and how to use it.
• How to recognise your own boundaries.
• How to support your kid’s body autonomy around extended family members.

Knowing what to do is one thing but do you have the ability to sit with the intense emotions of others and stay centred and grounded at the same time?

If not, and you would like support, let me know here.

Until next episode,

x Sarah

They’re learning about consent and what that looks like for themselves and others.

They’re learning about what is enjoyable for them.

They’re discovering what brings them pleasure.

And it’s our job as parents to give them lots of chances to discover these things safely and with encouragement and joy.

Proteced from the judgment of others, in particular other adults and their secret messages.

I understand that this can bring up very complex emotions too so it’s vital to have the necessary support so we can be what our kid(s) need.

Have a listen to this episode for 3 things you can do when your 5-yr-old likes to wear his cousin’s ballerina dress.

Also, if you need that extra support remember you can sign up here for The Evolved School.

Until next week,

x Sarah

Silence, because what do you say?

Tell them that’s an inappropriate question and they mustn’t ask again because what if they say something at school?

Ask other parent friends for their advice because what do you say?!

All these responses make sense.

They’re an indication of the tongue-tied parenting effect.

And so in this week’s episode I’m giving 3 pointers that will help you answer the question, in an age-appropriate way, whilst offering a way for you to look after yourself as well.

Have a broader convo about what sex is (2:54)

How to talk about pleasure in an age-appropriate way (5:34)

Giving your kid context for the consequences of sharing info (10:33)

If you feel uncomfortable, tongue-tied and unsure about having sensitive convos with your kid(s), The Evolve School is a great place for you to learn the skills and get tools and resources to support you inside a like-minded community.

Connected communication is centred on growth, courage and kindness.

If you’re Interested in joining let me know here.

x Sarah

His and everybody else’s. He thinks they're super weird.

Did I say too much too soon?

What can I do now to help him with these feelings?

These might be questions you find yourself asking yourself when your kid tells you they hate something about themselves after giving them much needed info about bodies and life.

We need a range of skills to feel like we’re doing a good enough job.

So what do you do when you’ve been doing the “right” things and then your kid tells you they hate parts of theirs and others bodies?

In today’s episode we’re learning how to use courage to stay focused and present in the presence of really complex, difficult and even painful emotions.

Let your kid(s) know that they get to talk about things:

• they don’t like
• that make them feel uncomfortable
• that other people do that piss them off

If your nervous system is all over the place and you need support for yourself, consider joining our community of parents who are learning the skills, tools and techniques to take care of their own needs as well as their kid(s).

Sign up here to learn more.

x Sarah

Her classmates are throwing the term boyfriend/girlfriend around and now she’s asking what that is.

This might confuse you as you think about what these terms mean when referring to adults.

Which will get you thinking about what is ok for your kid to know. Right?

Because clearly, and this is ok, your kid is just catching up with this stage of development.

So let me share ways you can explain to your 8-yr-old what boyfriends/girlfriends are in a way that is inclusive, invites open communication and builds a deeper connection.

We’re pulling from the growth pillar for this one and of course, as usual, if you need more support for your own emotions and needs you are invited to leave your details here.

Wanna skip to the good parts?

Reasons we may not have already had this convo and why that’s ok (1:30)

How to be inclusive and less gendered (4:30)

Why it’s important to talk about all the different types of relationships (5:29)

Ways to share your experiences to normalise big feelings (7:38)

I’d love to hear your stories on how you got on with starting convos about sensitive topics such as explaining what boyfriends and girlfriends are drop me a DM.

x Sarah

Can you imagine your mum or aunt coming over and them seeing that?

No?

Ok, so this might not be suitable for your family and that’s ok.

I’m sharing how this CAN work for some and other ways that it could work for you, if this feels too extreme.

So let’s dive into how you can have an open convo with your kids about the slang words used for body parts so they’re informed and feel able to talk to you about anything.

Do you always have to use the correct anatomical word? (4:46)

Characteristics of an evolved communicating family (6:23)

Build a bridge and make it fun (7:36)

How can I be sure my kid won’t get confused and use these slang words in everyday life? (11:39)

As you know, we use 3 pillars to help you build your evolved communicating family. Growth, Courage & Kindness.

Growth is about being able to talk about all and any sensitive topics no matter what age your kid is at. Courage is about being able to start convos about challenging/sensitive topics.

The kindness pillar is all about emotional management aka emotional intelligence.

If you could use support with any of these pillars let me know you’d like some info by leaving your details here.

Until next week,

Sarah

Complex emotions like fear, worry, embarrassment, tension, or anger.

Whether they show up in you or others?

This is what you can learn if you join my community to learn The Evolved Family Method.

Your friend, who you love, is constantly making negative and toxic comments about her body and the body of others, around your kids.

You want her to stop but need some help in what to say.

In today’s episode I’m sharing how you can discuss this with your kids and also how you can best approach your friend.

Connection is at the heart of Sitting In a Car and for the relationship you want to build with your kids and the adults in your life.

Remember to grab a pen and paper so you can get the suggested wording to use and adapt for your own convos going forward.

You can also grab the free resource I mentioned via the link in my bio. (KELI CAN YOU MAKE SURE THIS LINK IS IN THE INSTAGRAM BIO PLEASE - You can edit the bio in searchie - thanks)

If you would love more support with your emotions, talking about sensitive things and plucking up the courage to do so, then The Evolved Family Method may be for you.

Drop me a DM to have a chat or head to the link in my bio to join The Evolve School waitlist.

x Sarah

And without shame?’ This is such a great question –

and it's not just a question for parents of adolescents.

It's a question that relates to kids of all ages.

Because when our young people know what desire is and can talk about it,

it’s a sign of self-awareness.

They are learning to speak up for the things they need and want.

And pushing push back against the shame that might keep them quiet or small

and not able to speak about what they want.

We've lots to say on this wonderful and important topic.

And lots of tips for you, for when you have convos about this –

including how to chat to your teenagers,

and want more privacy, and mightn't want to chat to YOU about any of this at all!

This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

This is such a good question -

and not just for parents of 9-year-olds who are thinking about periods,

but for all of us.

Cos this question is really about connection.

This week on Sitting in a Car, I remember when I got my first period.

Because my family didn’t talk about periods, I decided I wanted to keep my period a secret.

(You can hear how that worked out here.)

This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

‘How do you deal with awkward daddies?

Ours panics at the word vagina when our girls say it.’

This is such a super question,

because it allows us to chat about gender,

and the expectations around what certain genders get to say and do.

In this week’s episode, I talk about how to make space for male parents to grow into talking to their kids about puberty, bodies, and sex.

This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

should you initiate the conversation?

How do you know what they’re ready to learn?’

This is such a great question,

because it gets to the heart of what we think about s=e=x=.

And the answer to this question applies to children of every age.

In our video and podcast this week, there are loads of great ways to get this convo started, even if you’re both new at it.

Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

I started a conversation with her once about periods, and she was totally squicked out.

I’d love some help.’

What a great question. I’m sure this parent isn’t alone in this.

So what do we do when we have info we need to give our kid

so that they stay safe and healthy growing up,

but which they’re too squicked out to hear?

My answer this week comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method.

The Courage pillar helps us look at how we can support our child exactly as they are,

without pretending, or wishing, they were easier to talk to about sensitive stuff!

It teaches us how to start conversations, and which actual words to use.

To hear more about how to use the Courage pillar and chat with your squicky kid about periods,

watch this week's episode of SItting in a Car here.

And here’s to doing our best to stay connected to our growing kids.

x Sarah

This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

even if you’re not sure they’re old enough.

For a lot of us,

consent can feel like a super tricky area.

‘Cause consent is about sex, right?

So in order to chat with your kid about consent –

to help them know their own boundaries and needs,

while respecting the boundaries and needs of others –

they need to know about sex.

Right?

Actually, not at all!

We can start helping our kids understand about consent

from when they’re very small.

To hear more about how to teach our kids about consent

in everyday ways, no matter their age, watch this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car

x Sarah

If you’re finding that teaching consent is becoming increasingly important to you,

DM me so I can let you know how The Evolve School could help you do this important part of parenting x

This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

in a way that makes them feel supported

and able to come to you with any questions or worries they have as they grow up.

Here’s what A LOT of courageous but tongue-tied parents do,

when it comes to chatting about puberty.

They wait to chat with their kids about puberty,

until they begin to see the signs that their kid might be starting to go through it.

And THEN,

they have, or try to have, a conversation with their kid about it.

That makes sense, right?

But here’s the problem.

if you don’t talk about any of this stuff with your kid when they are younger and feeling relaxed in their body,

AND THEN suddenly out of the blue start talking about it with your kid while their body is already changing,

there’s going to be a *lot* of awkwardness.

But! Good news.

There are ways to prevent this.

For lots more about how to dive into the complexities of starting ongoing conversations with your kid

about puberty and so much more,

watch this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car here on Facebook.

x Sarah

Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

What an awesome question this week.

It’s important for all adults to think about this, even if your kids are older or younger.

I think the answer starts with how we can get comfortable doing the parts of parenting that feel extra difficult.

(In this weeks episode, I tell a personal story about how my anxiety stopped me being able to show up for  my kids in an everyday situation.)

So what can parents and other adults who care for children say to young kids about how babies are born?

To hear more about how to chat about birth,

have a look at this week’s episode.

Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you’ve forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

I love this question.

Because yes, it’s about consent, my favourite subject –

but consent isn’t always about sex so that makes it an easy topic to talk about with smaller kids.

You see, consent is actually about respecting yourself and others.

And we all want to raise kids who respect themselves and the people around them :)

So, YES!

We certainly can talk about consent with very young kids.

And the great thing about it, is,

childhood is FULL of ways to chat about consent.

I have a story for you this week

about something I overheard, during one of my kids’ playdates,

where a really gross, funny game was happening,

and how I intervened, to let everyone know

that nobody has to eat anything they don’t want to eat (don’t ask!).

Watch this week's episode below. It’s a good one 

x Sarah

Ps. and if you’ve got pets at home I’ve got some ideas in this weeks episode that might work really well for your family.

Ps. This email is a gentle reminder about this past episode of Sitting in a Car and how it can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

without body shaming them?’

What a great question!

It’s so useful for all of us who want to raise a child who is not ashamed of their body.

Lots of us know from personal experience that when we feel shame about our body,

it disempowers us.

It makes it harder to speak up for what we need.

It makes it harder to ask for help if something doesn't feel right.

It even makes it harder to ask for medical attention when we need it.

So there are so many great reasons why we want to avoid body shame for our kids.

How can we help our kids understand that there are rules about how and when we touch our own bodies,

without body shaming them?

To hear more about how to have these conversations about bodies,

and about how to raise kids without shame,

have a look at Sitting in a Car this week

x Sarah

Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you’ve forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

And if so,

how should you do it?’

The parent who wrote in with this question also said,

‘I can talk about procreation, but I can’t jump to pleasure!

What do I do now?’

This is such a great conversation to have!

Because, if you think about it,

we are so careful, and spend so much time, learning how to talk to our kids

about sperms and eggs and how we make new humans.

But… most sex that humans have, is because sex feels nice!

It’s not to make new babies.

So how on earth do we talk about that?

For more thoughts about this fascinating and complex topic,

about why we should talk about pleasure with our kids starting from when they’re very small,

and scripts and ideas for how to do it,

have a have a listen to this week’s episode.

Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you’ve forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

How can I approach chats about non-traditional relationships?’

There are three things to think about, when you’re having chats like this with your kids.

It’s so important to teach our kids that they don’t have to fit into a mould,

and be who the world tells them they should be!

And that they can just be fully themselves.

And indeed, doesn’t the world tell us quite narrow, quite fixed things sometimes

about what s=e=x is,

and what gender is, and what relationships are?

But of course we know that the options for who we grow up to be is so much wider and wonderful than that.

So if we can chat with our kids about how the world teaches us very limiting ideas about relationships,

we can help them to grow into whomever they are.

And for much more about exactly how to have chats with your kids

in ways that leave loads of room for our kids’ uniqueness and the amazing diversity of life,

listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you’ve forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

how to avoid passing on shame to our kid(s).

And I’m going to show you how the Evolved Family method does exactly that with it’s three pillars,

Growth, Courage, and Kindness.

Because the whole Evolved Family method is about reducing shame.

The best way I know to reduce shame,

is by building deeper connections with our kids.

And the way we do that,

is by having conversations with our kids about sensitive things.

Connection is about openness.

Connection is about feeling seen & heard.

When we feel connected w someone else,

shame doesn’t exist there.

So! Press play and watch this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car, cos it’s a special one.

And if you’d like to know more about Growth, Courage and Kindness, and the Evolved Family method,

reply to this email and I’ll let you know the next time The Evolve School opens its doors.

Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you’ve forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

A parent who wrote in, has an over-enthusiastic kid

Who loves to hug and embrace and touch all the time!

And this parent’s not fully comfortable with this,

but of course doesn’t want to shame her child.

This is a super question.

My answer comes from the courage pillar of the Evolved Family method,

which looks at the skills we need to step up and speak out about super sensitive topics.

A situation like this is a great opportunity

to teach our kid about consent.

So often, when we think about consent,

we think about teaching our kid to speak up for themselves,

and how to say no when they need to say no.

But another really important part of consent,

is learning to listen to other people’s needs.

If you want to learn more about that,

visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve and put your name down

to find out when The Evolve School opens next.

In the meantime, to hear much more about how to hold gentle but firm boundaries without shame,

and how to help our kids get what they need,

spend some time with me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car x

Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you’ve forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

‘How do I respond to things I hear my kid say that I don’t agree with?’

This is a great question,

because on the one hand, we want to raise kids whose values are in line with ours.

But on the other hand, we don’t want our kid to feel we’re constantly telling them

that what they believe is wrong!

So what can we do?

This is a super-juicy topic

and this week’s episode gives you loads of real-world tips on how to have these conversations.

By the way, you may be starting to realise

that gaining higher level skills like these is becoming a priority for you. Your kids are growing older

and you want your skills to be rock-solid.

If that sounds like you,

visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve

and leave me your info.

That way I can let you know the next time I open The Evolve School –

so you'll be able to learn everything you need to know

about how to have these sorts of conversations and build more connection with your growing kid.

Sarah x

This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

A parent writes,

‘How can I teach my 15-year-old daughter to say no

when she’s in highly pressurised situations?’

My answer to this week’s question comes from the Courage pillar inside the Evolved Family Method –

which helps us speak up about complicated things,

using everyday situations

in a way that builds deeper connection with our child(ren) as we do it.

This is a super question because so many parents really don’t feel great about this bit of parenting.

In the teenage years, we can feel a bit like our kid has drifted apart from us.

We might feel our influence waning.

We could feel a bit out of control, out of our depth.

We might find ourselves saying things like, ‘You know you can always say no, right?’

And watching our teenager roll their eyes and say, ‘I KNOW.’

And it's not a convo that feels very connected or very good.

In fact, it’s MOST unhelpful!

So what can we do about it?

If you feel like you could use some support for this part of your parenting and to hear all about how to teach your teen to say ‘No’ more easily, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

I’ll see you there

x Sarah

Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you’ve forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

What a great thing to chat about!

But before we get into it, I want to reminisce a bit.

We are so influenced by the culture we’re raised in.

Depending on the country where you are living, there will be different levels of nakedness that seem normal.

But we also get to create our own family culture,

we can think about this stuff and decide for ourselves how we want to be with our bodies,

and how we want our family to be.

Isn’t that great?

To hear more about nakedness, listen to this week's episode of Sitting in a Car. Let’s chat about being nude.

Ps. This is a gentle reminder of how to support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family, but you’ve forgotten about it in the swirl of family life x

that will give you more connected conversations with your kids.

These questions come from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method,

which is all about connection – and empathy.

You may be surprised to learn (or not!)

that the key to a lot of the questions we parents find the hardest to answer,

is empathy.

So let’s talk about the emotions and thoughts that go unsaid

when we’re having sensitive conversations with our kids –

and how we can use those hidden questions, no matter how scary,

to create a more connected family.

If you feel like you could use some more support to build deeper connections with your kid(s), join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

Let’s  dig deep into three simple ways to make this easier.

The answer to this question comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method.

As you might know, if you watch Sitting in a Car quite a lot,

the Courage pillar has to do

with how we as adults can take responsibility for speaking up,

and the tools we can use to do it.

We learn how to start conversations, and what sentences and words to use.

The Courage pillar is especially helpful here,

because a lot of grown-ups feel afraid of this topic!

We might try to shield our kids from ever seeing porn in the first place (not possible),

or we might worry that if we talk about it… they might go look for it.

So how can we chat with our kids about porn,

in a way that is non-alarming?

For lots of specific tips, watch this week’s episode here.

And if you’d like to get Sitting in a Car straight to your inbox, Dm me and I’ll get that sorted for you.

x Sarah

This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

This is such an important episode this week.

Because lots of us don’t feel comfortable talking about the clitoris.

The clitoris is all about pleasure.

And pleasure is something we might find difficult to talk about with kids.

And you know what? That’s perfectly normal.

A lot of us have had no modeling for how to have conversations about sensitive stuff with our kid(s.

So it makes sense that we might feel a bit uncomfortable,

and not at all confident about how to do it.

This week I’ve got three tips to help you have the clitoris talk this week. They are all from the Growth Pillar inside the Evolved Family Method.

To hear all about it, come join me in Sitting in a Car.

And if you’d like to learn more about the Evolved Family Method, send me a PM and I’ll help you with that x

Ps. This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

This parent’s young girl has started saying not very nice things about her own body,

and has started expressing an interest in extremely skinny body types.

(You can hear the whole question & story in this week’s podcast.)

This courageous but tongue-tied parent is confused,

like many of us would be in her situation,

because she’s done everything right.

She’s taught her kid about healthy eating, exercise and all the things.

She’s never criticised her own body, or mentioned weight around her child.

So how has this happened?

As you can see, this is deep stuff.

If you’re feeling like you could use more support in this part of your parenting, and to hear much more about how to chat about body image with your kids, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car here -

And I’ll see you there.

x Sarah

Ps.This episode is a gentle reminder about this past question on Sitting in a Car and how my answer can support even more connection between you and your growing kid. Because sometimes it’s helpful to be reminded of the things you wanted to talk about in your family but you’ve forgotten about in the swirl of family life x

When it came to awkward conversations, our parents did their best with what they knew. Whether you were dismissed, made to feel uncomfortable or awkward about sensitive subjects, you want to do things differently, and build an Evolved Communicating Family.

However, you may experience a level of panic or dread when it comes to having these same conversations with your kid, especially if they are young.

If you feel you could use some support and actionable pointers for this part of your parenting, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

I’ll see you there.

x Sarah

The person asking the question for today’s episode isn’t considering cancelling her friendship, however she does want help in protecting her kids from the toxic views her friend holds on body image.

I suggested the following:

1. Having a convo about it with your kid(s) when your friend isn’t around
2. Empathising with your friend
3. Asking your friend for support

Have a listen so you can learn the exact wording (and adapt where needed) to help you use your courage to have an uncomfortable conversation with a loved one.

What is a silent connection breaker (3:53)

What to say to your kid(s) about your friend’s views (5:44)

How to empathise with your friend (7:54)

Formula to have that difficult convo and ask for help (9:38)

If you need support with handling your emotions, your kids or any adult’s in your life The Evolved Family Method is for you. You’re invited to join our community, so note your interest here.

Free body image resource

Firstly, what a privilege it is that your stepson has trusted you with this information about himself. And it’s beautiful that you’ve accepted this and want to learn how best to support him going forwards.

In this episode I share 3 things to help you prepare for this change so you can be there for your step kid or any sort of kid, and learn how to talk to a trans kid about sensitive things.

Want to skip ahead?

Learn to celebrate your different experiences (7:02)

An honour and prompt to re-educate self (8:46)

Book Resources (10:50)

Sex is a funny word by Cory Silverberg & Fiona Smith

The ABCs of LGBT+ by Ashley Mardel 

Trans+ by Kathryn Gonzales & Karen Rayne

Gender Explorers by Juno Roche

www.genderspectrum.org

And it makes sense that if you’ve never had acceptance and unconditional support modelled to you this situation can be extremely challenging because it is very complex and can bring up various emotions within us. In particular fear and maybe even your own painful experiences of rejection.

This is why I have The Evolve School.

It not only helps you learn how to talk to your kid(s) about ANYthing sensitive but it also helps you learn how to be kind to yourself as you learn new skills to help you build an evolved communicating family.

So if you feel that you could do with further support leave your details here and I’ll be in touch when we next open.

This parent is asking for help in deciding what is best for her kids. However, as much as I offer my tools and experience, only you can have the final say in what is best for you and your kids.

So I’m sharing 3 things to consider when asking what the right thing to do is in a situation like this:

1. Your nervous system. How does it feel? Does it feel safe or dangerous? Again, how does it feel?
2. Is your decision being influenced by society’s rules about gender and what is and isn’t acceptable?
3. Honest storytelling

The Evolved Family Method is a complete method that supports families to have conversations about every sort of sensitive topic in a way that builds deeper connection with growing kids.

Nakedness is about how we feel, how we actually feel, not what our kids need.

But if we’re operating from past experiences, how we feel may not reflect how we want to show up as parents.

So using the Kindness pillar of the Method I share tools and techniques with you so you can learn principles on how to nourish your nervous system and how to reprogram how it feels around things to do with sensitive stuff, nakedness, and all that stuff.

Because at the end of the day, we're here to do better perhaps than what our natural inclination might be or what we experienced growing up.

As at the date of this podcast being released The Evolved School is open. So if you’re interested in joining me and other parents like you, get in touch today.

Here’s to raising your caring and confident young person to respect themselves and those around them.

Until next week,

x Sarah

In this week’s episode we’re diving into the courage and growth pillars to learn how we can continue building our evolved communicating family. Connection is such an important piece of the foundation and will support the rest. Have a listen as this episode, although answering a question about how to handle your tween’s sexual orientation provides information that can be used time and time again, no matter the topic.

Tongue-tied parenting effect (2:37)

Is giving the information more important than the connection with your kid? (3:59)

How can we apologise? Is it necessary? (6:14)

Book resources (10:43)

Let’s Talk About It by Erika Moen & Matthew Nolan

Wait, what? by Heather Corrina

Sex Educated by Grace Alice O’Shea & Sexual Health West

The Evolve School Doors are open!

You can learn how to build deeper connections whilst talking about sensitive stuff, really complex stuff, related to sex, bodies and relationships through The Evolved Family Method. With practical support & skills you’ll get the tools to help you raise your confident, caring and respectful young person. Learn more here about what is involved and join us if it calls to you.

It’s totally understandable if strong emotions are present as this is a sensitive topic that can impact more than just your family. Your parenting community may be affected too, and how might they feel if your kid starts telling their kid this new info?

The bottom line is you want to do your best for your kid(s), but you’re not sure what that looks like or how to even do it?

So in this episode we use the growth pillar to cover layering, gender expression, acceptance, and pronouns.

How to layer information [5:06]

What is Gender Expression [6:33]

Practising Pronouns [11:03]

Who Are You: The Kid’s Guide to Gender Identity - Brook Pessin-Whedbee

I hope this helps you but if you find you need more support please do get yourself on the list for The Evolve School.

x Sarah

Ps. If you’d like to discover how to give your kid the openness about sensitive topics that you didn’t have growing up, click the link in my bio 👉 @iamsarahsproule

Visit www.sarahSproule.com/Masterclass to save your spot on the Build More Connection Masterclass ♥️ it’s free x

That’s the question I’m answering today. What to do and say as Mum’s feeling embarrassed.

This is a beautiful opportunity to teach.

It’s also a great opportunity for you to learn and practice skills that help you notice when your unhelpful unconscious beliefs are impacting your ability to connect with your kid(s).

Kindness for yourself is so important when this happens.

Have a listen to the episode to find out my 3 tips on what to say and how to handle this situation.

x Sarah

So how do we give them important information when it’s horrible and unpleasant?

How do keep their view of the world intact whilst simultaneously alerting them to the horrors that are also present?

In today’s episode I’m answering a question about child sexual abuse.

More specifically, how to tell your young kid about it so you can help protect them.

There are a range of skills that you’re being called to access here, and if you don’t have them please don’t beat yourself up.

This is not something that is taught. There’s no “How to be a parent” guide or a handbook that helps us to ‘get it 100% right’.

There are 3 things I’m sharing that I hope will help you in having this convo.

I’m also sharing 7 books to support you as well, because let’s face it even if we’re speaking our kid’s language there are so many different ways we can say something so we all want to do our best in this respect.

Another key element to consider before having this convo is where you stand.

What beliefs do you have about kids who experience sexual abuse?

Have you had an experience (directly or indirectly) that you haven’t dealt with?

This is such a complex and layered topic so go easy on yourself when approaching it.

I really hope these resources and this episode helps you in maintaining your kid(s) innocence whilst giving them the info they need to stay safe in this world.

Until next episode,

x Sarah

Do you think cows, lambs, or goats shame other cows, lambs or goats when feeding their young, just because farmers also milk them for dairy milk?

Because breasts are also used for sexual pleasure, they should be kept hidden, covered up and not be seen outside of specific environments.

Despite their original, natural function of feeding newborn babies.

This week’s podcast answers a Mum’s question of how to answer her 2-year-olds questions around breastfeeding as she is expecting baby no.2 soon. With her first daughter she bottle fed if in public or went to a private room.

Let me just say that these options are totally ok, if they are your choice.

However, a mother who has been taught that her breasts should remain private and hidden, EVEN, when providing food for her kid, is being shamed and made to feel embarrassed about a natural, everyday thing.

So this episode is made to help the Mama’s with inquisitive 2-year-olds that want to know why Mummy is putting a boobie/breast/(insert word used) in their sibling’s mouth.

I share how you can satisfy any questions they have whilst building a foundational connection.

My answers, also potentially, bring you some comfort if you’re facing your own feelings (maybe shame/embarrassment/discomfort) around breasts and breastfeeding.

A lot of the work we do around building connections with our kid(s) involves us taking a look at what we believe and what we were taught. This can be very uncomfortable.

So remember to be kind to yourself and get ready for some surefire ways to support you in a situation like this.

As always if you’re needing some extra support do reach out via https://www.instagram.com/iamsarahsproule/

or join the The Evolve School waitlist.

Until next time.

x Sarah

Shownotes

Book: Milky by Agnes Saccani & Maria Betsworth - www.milkmakingmamas.co.uk IG: @MilkMakingMama

The thing that scientists and our kids have in common is their curiosity devoid of judgment.

They seek information to give them an understanding.

Whereas most of us are conditioned to attach our preconceived ideas to information.

Minimal information in a situation like this is similar to stonewalling and the opposite of building connection.

So what can we do instead?

Practicing layering is a good place to start.

Our kid is constantly gathering info and so we can give this info to them in small bite sizes, often.

It’s also beneficial to remember that we’re also learning info about ourselves and that can sometimes be just as shocking as the questions we get asked. So we get to choose to be kind to ourselves and show compassion for where we are as we move towards where we want to be as parents.

Let’s also introduce some fun. How can we move from this being an awkward convo to it being informative and interesting for us and our kid(s).

We can offer our kid info in a way that builds connection, soothes our nervous system and gives them age-appropriate information.

You can find me over on https://www.instagram.com/iamsarahsproule/ to let me know how you get on and if these pointers were helpful.

x Sarah

So who do we listen to when our kid, along with his friends, has been asking other kids to pull down their pants to see their genitals? 

Immediately we might think:

• Omg, my kid is pressuring other kids to do things they don’t want to do! 
• Will he not ask for consent when he’s older? 
• What kind of kid have I raised? I’ve failed!
• What will other parents say?
• [insert your own immediate reaction]

And anything that comes up is valid.

Because we know what the world outside of our homes is like.

However, it’s also important to remember that behaviour is communication. 

So, no you haven’t failed! 

Our kid is just letting us know, through his actions, that he needs more information.

So, how do we get him the information he needs to understand consent and respecting other people’s bodies?

This episode gives you 3 options you can use with your 6yo to give him the information that he needs.

Of course, first ruling out that there is nothing untoward happening to him or his friends,

such as an adult having asked them to pull down their pants,

and then we can practice consent and respect in a safe and loving space. 

You’re encouraged to remember that raising confident and caring kids is not always easy. 

So please do be kind to yourself. 

Especially if you didn’t have many role models for this style of parenting.

If that’s the case for you my diary is open to have a chat about the specific needs of you and your family. 

Visit www.sarahsproule.com/bio to book a chat with me here.

Until next week’s episode of Sitting in a Car,

x Sarah

We do need to have sensitive convos with our kids

that provide them with information that they will need as they grow.

But what a lot of experts miss is that to have these kinds of convos 

we need to establish and have nurtured a connection with our kid.

The same connection we had with them as babies isn’t the exact same one they need now. 

So in learning new skills & strategies, 

we can grow with them and maintain our connections.

Have a listen to this week’s podcast and let me know if you found it helpful. 

As always, if you need more support in any part of your parenting

The Evolve School would love to help you care for your kid.

Join the waitlist here, www.sarahsproule.com/evolve 

and I'll be in touch before the next enrollment. 

x Sarah

How many of us hid our identities because we didn’t feel safe enough to express what they might be or were? 

I’m bisexual and I came to this identity late. 

When I read this question I was delighted for this kid. 

He’s 12 and has realised this about himself and it made me realise, in retrospect, how much I would have loved to have had this conversation about my bisexuality sooner. 

The thing to consider here is that your kid is learning about themselves. 

And in learning who we are, what we do and don’t like, we have to have experiences.

Being able to encourage our kid through their experiences is major. 

It will be something they remember for life. 

Because, you know, they may get to a point where this identity no longer fits. 

And how you supported them through this experience will make all the difference. 

So join me for this week’s episode where I help you to support your kid when they discover something new about themselves. 

As always, if it feels right for you, I’d love to welcome you into The Evolve School. 

It’s currently closed but if you head over to www.sarahsproule.com/evolve 

you can join our waitlist and I’ll reach out nearer the next enrollment date. 

Please share this podcast with anyone you know who is building an evolved, communicating family and let’s have more conversations that support us in caring for our kids. 

x Sarah

Our kid’s words, actions, body language, and tone of voice are communicating something to us.  

What is she thinking and feeling yet not unable to say? 

We need to find a way to allow her to SAY it. 

To connect with our kid we need to meet her where she’s at.

This isn’t the time to justify or explain why logically what we’ve been doing is ‘right’.

So how do we connect with our kid so that whenever we talk to her about sex it doesn’t bring about disgust and anger? 

That’s what we’re diving into in this week’s episode. 

Are you willing to say 2 words, 7 letters? 

Are you willing to take full responsibility for your actions, no matter your intention? 

Are you willing to prioritise the connection with your kid over anything else? 

Join me for this episode and learn how to turn this scenario around. 

Now, I know this can be quite a challenging journey for most of us, so if you’d like to learn more strategies that can help you connect with your kid(s) alongside the skills required to implement them then join the waitlist for the Evolve School. 

We’re currently closed (we only open twice a year), but as soon as we reopen for enrollment I’ll be sure to let you know. 

If it’s a good time for you then you can join us. 

www.sarahsproule.com/evolve. 

Remember these strategies can be used time and time again, so be prepared to take notes. 

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and stories in my comments and DMs. 

x Sarah

He feels awkward when I try to discuss it with him as he says it’s weird. 

What can I do?

This is the question that I’m answering this week and I love this question because it give us a chance to really build a deeper connection with our kid(s).

The answer comes from the Courage pillar inside the Evolved Family Method which helps us build evolved, communicating families. 

Now, I’m sure you probably have your own thoughts/judgments around porn. 

And there’s no judgment around that. 

But how do we set those thoughts/judgments aside to have a useful convo with our 13-yr-old kid?

We want to make sure that they’re safe and have information that helps them to make healthy decisions. 

And let’s be honest, porn is bad sex education.

So, what is the “answer”? How do we help?

Connection builds. So we need to connect with our kid. 

If you’re asking how, it’s by following their lead. 

Let him help us learn HOW to talk to him about this stuff. 

Listen to the episode to learn three strategies to help you do this. 

These strategies are ones you will use over and over again. 

Parenthood is a journey that requires support. It takes a village. 

So if you would like the support of a village to learn new skills, strategies and have support whilst implementing, join the Evolve School waitlist. Sign up at www.sarahsproule.com/evolve and I’ll let you know as soon as the doors re-open. 

For now catch the strategies in this episode and be sure to let me know how you get on, if you use them.

x Sarah

Especially when you know they need someone they can trust to confide in? 

Maybe you’re feeling regret about past parenting decisions? 

Blaming yourself for how you handled a past situation? 

If this is you, please remember that parenting is a lifelong journey, and we’re constantly learning. 

Kids go through many developmental stages. 

One of our jobs is to have the skills to help them navigate each one. 

High level connection is a skill. Being able to talk about sensitive things is a skill. 

We may not have learned these skills in our own families. 

And it’s likely that we weren’t taught these skills in school, either. 

So now it’s time to learn those skills. 

In this episode we discuss:

• collaboration culture 
• two competing truths existing at the same time
• a family meeting agenda; and 
• the steps for a successful family meeting

Have a listen, and feel free to share with me your insights or experiences from implementation. 

x Sarah

But I also know they need the info.

What should I do? 

You can take a poll of what the other parents are doing. 

Find out when they plan to have the convos and wait until then... 

Or you can decide to do what’s best for you and your kid and prepare for whatever may come.

Learn some best practices on how to manage other people’s emotions.

Learn what questions to ask yourself so that, when faced with a similar scenario, you know what to do.

You might be thinking “Ok Sarah, you know I’m leaning towards the latter but what does that look like?”

Well, in this episode I share 3 ways to help you choose what’s best for you and your kid(s).

Minus the input of other people.

And remember if you ever feel alone in your journey or feel like you could use some more support join the waitlist for The Evolve School. 

x Sarah

We remember what our teenage years were like. We all had something about our ever-changing bodies that we didn’t like or even hated!

Did we have a trusted, safe source to confide in? 

Were we able to express how we felt? 

Did we feel seen by our carers? 

Of course, they did their best but maybe we didn’t have any of the above. 

And so now we want to make sure our kid does have that. 

Not to mention the fact that the media is super unhelpful. There is generally only one type of body image shown. And a tonne of shaming and exclusion of diverse bodies.

So, if your 10 yr-old is struggling with their body image, made worse by the lack of inclusion in the media, I’ve got you. 

If you feel like you could use further support for this part of your parenting, consider joining The Evolve School. This is your chance to develop your own unique way of nurturing the connection with your kid(s). 

Join the waitlist here https://sarahsproule.support/waitlist/ 

For now, listen into this week’s podcast for 3 ways you can connect with your 10-yr-old as they navigate their body image.

x Sarah

It’s ok if it does. 

As humans we want to protect our kid(s) from anything that may cause them pain, suffering, discrimination, etc. 

We want them to feel loved, supported, and free to be who they are!

But how do we create this environment for them if we’re in a state of panic, fear, and uncertainty? 

Can we create this environment for them? 

The simple answer is yes. The solution however, is not as easy. 

Our community and our pillars were created for this exact reason; because it’s not easy. 

We must put in the work to have deeper connections with our kids. And that requires support. Community.

Because the work sometimes looks like:

• managing our emotions 
• rewiring our brains
• learning new tools & techniques
• educating ourselves 
• releasing our conditioning and creating new ways of being 

None of which are easy, but with the support of a community of parents who are on a similar journey the road is less lonely.

So in this week’s episode we dive into some of this work.

We learn how to show up for our kid as a courageous, kind, & compassionate parent. 

One who reminds our kid that they have full permission to be who they are. 

One that models to our kid what self-regulation looks like. 

One that creates a safe-space of deep connection for an evolved communicating family. 

If you’re here, the likelihood is that you’re a courageous yet tongue-tied parent. 

And if so, you’re on the right podcast. 

Have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car to get support on how to answer your 6yo who says they’ve been a boy since they were 2 ½. 

For ongoing support visit www.sarahsproule.com/bio

Now let’s dive in.

x Sarah

However, you may experience a level of panic or dread when it comes to having these same conversations with your kid, especially if they are young.  

If you feel you could use some support and actionable pointers for this part of your parenting, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

I’ll see you there.

x Sarah

We can be so hard on ourselves as parents. 

Understandable, I get it.  

The pressure to be perfect is all around us. 

However I’m sure you’ll also agree, that as there is no manual this is just unnecessary pressure. 

Whatever your reason(s) for, not yet, having the talk with your kid, it’s not too late. 

Whether:

You felt unsure about what to say. 

Were waiting for them to come to you. 

Were waiting for the perfect time or the perfect words. 

Now feel like you’ve missed the boat. 

It’s not too late!

Join us this week as we dive into how to show ourselves compassion as parents;

how to use this as a learning opportunity (for you and your kid); and 

how to use our emotions about our mistakes to create connection with our kid(s).

Before you dive in, remember:

To go easy on yourself. 

You are here, showing up for yourself and your kid. 

You’re willing to, and are putting in the work to make lasting changes. 

The development of new habits takes time. 

If you feel like you could use some support with sustaining your growth as a courageous parent. 

Or need the support of a community. 

Join us in The Evolve School. We only open twice a year. 

And doors are only open for a limited time. 

So, if you feel called to, and are ready to take the next step on your journey, get in touch here. 

x Sarah

Can you imagine how you might feel? 

Have you been this parent? Are you this parent? 

First things first, seek professional help to make sure there’s not something more to this. 

Once you have confirmation your kid is safe, then what? 

In this week’s episode I talk you through my suggestions to this question. 

This question came from a very concerned parent who wants to support their kid the best way they can.

This is a sensitive topic that requires compassion and an open mind. 

It may be that paid, professional help is required. 

It may be that your kid functions differently to the majority. So needs information presented in another way. If this is the case it’s totally ok. You can, with the right support, provide the information they need. 

 If you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to support your kid as he learns about boundaries and consequences around the touching of genitals, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

Where do we even begin? 

What do we say?

How much do we say? 

Unfortunately, we cannot shelter our kids from the harsh realities of the world. 

In fact, it’s not helpful. And we come across to our kid(s) as clueless.

As adults, responsibly talking about sensitive things, allows & models for our child to do the same.

This is a great way to develop an evolved & communicating family. 

When we do the work to manage past emotions and experiences, we can be grounded in the present for our families. 

In this week’s episode I explore ways to answer this question and reasons we should answer. It would be easy to say ‘that’s not something you need to worry about now’. But if your kid(s) is asking, they need an answer. 

If you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to answer a question around a complex topic, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

It’s to create connection with them too!

So many of us parents have heard ALL the stories 

about kids who pull away from their parents in the pre-teen and teenage years. 

So a lot of us just stop trying to say anything. Because we’re afraid of our kids pulling away.

But we know our kids need the info. 

So what can we do? 

To hear all about how to support your kid as they grow through puberty, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

all the info we know they need, 

but aren’t sure how to do that, or when. 

And we might have memories ourselves 

of our parents trying to have chats with us, and it feeling weird and icky and wrong. 

Or maybe we were given a book, and told If you have any questions, just ask,

And THAT felt wrong too!

So we want to do things differently for our own kids.

Let’s hop into this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car 

x Sarah

when your 8-year-old asked you (quite a while ago) What is sex? 

and you said you’d get back to them with a good answer, 

and now you’re all ready with an answer – but they’ve never asked again!

My answer this week comes from some of the core principles that underpin the Evolved Family method. 

A lot of you probably already know about the Evolved Family method's three pillars, 

Courage, Growth, and Kindness. 

But underpinning those pillars, are a few foundational principles. 

This week’s answer comes from those ideas. 

If you need to give an answer to a question your 8 year old asked a while ago but hasn’t asked again, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

when chats with your kids about sensitive stuff, aren't happening naturally.

We might be ready to be open with our kids, and have open, ongoing convos

about sex, bodies, babies and all the things,

so that our kids get the info they need.

But our kids aren’t asking.

And now they’re growing older – and still not asking!

So what do we do?

My answer this week comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method.

The Courage pillar helps us to start conversations,

manage big emotions,

and start convos about stuff that doesn’t come up on its own.

If you feel like you could use some more support with chats that aren't happening naturally, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

www.sarahsproule.com/bio

‘How can I turn uncomfortable conversations with my kid about sensitive stuff into more comfortable ones?’ 

What a great question this is.

What can we do about our own feelings and fears around having sensitive chats that hold us back from having them, or make it super hard and uncomfortable when we do talk?

My answer this week comes from the Kindness pillar of the Evolved Family method. 

The Kindness pillar helps us do many awesome things. 

But one of its most important jobs, is helping us really focus in on ourselves, so we can be more available to our kid when we’re talking about sensitive stuff. 

I know all this might feel quite radical... 

Supporting our kid, by first asking ourselves what we need! 

That’s because it IS radical. 

But I promise you, it is so, so powerful.

If you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and turn uncomfortable conversations with my kid about sensitive stuff into more comfortable ones, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

when it comes to having sensitive conversations with our kids about sex, bodies, babies and all the things, so that we’re both saying the same thing?’

What a great question!

My answer this week comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method, which gives us the skills to chat about complex stuff, helps us create connection with our kids as we do it, and supports us to take action when we need to. 

Now, what a lot of us do, when we’re co-parenting with an ex, is hold off on having these sensitive conversations because frankly we’re worried about the conflict it might create.

And I get that.

Conflict with an ex is SO hard.

And conflict with an ex about how to parent around sensitive stuff, is just SUPER hard.

So we might try & talk our ex into agreeing to parent the way we do.

And we might send them articles, or YouTube videos, or an episode of Sitting In A Car.

And we might wait til there’s some kind of consensus, before saying anything to our kids.

The problem is… we know that our kids need to know this stuff.

And we know at some level that waiting, and not talking, isn’t what’s best for them.

So what do we do?

How can we co-parent with an ex, and have sensitive conversations with our kids at the times we need to have them, even if we parent in different ways, and don’t agree?

If you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about getting on the same page with your ex/co-parent about sensitive convos, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

when you’ve got a 6-year-old who likes to hump the couch. :D

My answer for you this week comes from some of the values that underpin the whole Evolved Family method. 

Behaviour is communication. 

Our kids don’t do things for no reason or to wind us up. 

Behaviour is logical and there’s always a reason.

You see, our kid’s genitals, and sexual self, are just the same as their face, eyes, hands, respiratory system, and so on.

They’re just another bit of who they are as a human.

So what can you do, or should you do, if you have a kid who loves to rub their private bits on the furniture? 

The first thing to know, is that so much of parenting, has to do with asking ‘Is this normal?’ 

So: it’s normal to ask, is this normal. :)

Oftentimes, parents can feel very worried or concerned when ‘Is this normal?’ has to do with sex, gender, bodies and all the things. 

And I totally understand why. 

We’ve been programmed by our culture, whenever we hear about children and anything to do with sexuality, to jump to all kinds of scary conclusions.

But it’s actually normal for us adults,to learn as we go about what is normal and awesome for our kids, when it comes to their sexuality. 

And our kid teaches us this, by being their awesome self.

Discover more by watching this latest episode of Sitting in a Car. And if you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, send me a DM right here on FB. I’m here to help.

x Sarah

if your 7-year-old boy has just learned about periods – 

and you’re worried he’s going to share this exciting new info

with all of his friends!! 

Including his friends who are going to get periods someday, 

and who might not know about them yet. 

My answer to this question is from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method, 

which gives you the skills to speak up about complex stuff, 

and build more connection with your child as you do that.

And, it helps you to run interference between your child and the world at large,  

where other people might be thinking and parenting differently.

Unlike most of our own parents, we know 

that kids need to have the info about sex, puberty, bodies, babies and all the things.

And we know that giving our kids this information 

keeps them safer. 

But what happens when our parenting bumps up against the outside world? 

Where maybe other kids don’t have this info? 

Because maybe other parents don’t believe they should have it?

This is a complex one. So do watch  this week’s episode for the full details. 

And if you feel like you could use some extra support for this part of your parenting, comment below or send me a DM. I’m here to help...

x Sarah

A parent writes,

‘How can I teach my 15-year-old daughter to say no 

when she’s in highly pressurised situations?’ 

My answer to this week’s question comes from the Courage pillar inside the Evolved Family Method – 

which helps us speak up about complicated things, 

using everyday situations,

in a way that builds deeper connection with our child(ren) as we do it. 

This is a super question because so many parents really don’t feel great about this bit of parenting. 

In the teenage years, we can feel a bit like our kid has drifted apart from us. 

We might feel our influence waning. 

We could feel a bit out of control, out of our depth. 

We might find ourselves saying things like, ‘You know you can always say no, right?’ 

And watching our teenager roll their eyes, and say, ‘I KNOW.’

And it's not a convo that feels very connected, or very good.

In fact, it’s MOST unhelpful!

So what can we do about it? 

If you feel like you could use some support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to teach your teen to say ‘No’ more easily, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

with trying to shape or limit what they do with that info? 

'Once you’ve told your kid what happens in sex, 

how do you build in that it’s not something for kids to do? 

My fear is that my super-curious 5-year-old will try & act it out with his friends in school. 

I really don’t want that phone call from school!’ 

This question is relevant for any of us who have started having convos with our kids that we hope will equip them for learning about this part of being human.

If you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to manage a 5-year-old who knows what intercourse is, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

when your 3-year-old is super interested in her little brother’s willy!

And keeps commenting on it in the bath. 

My answer comes from the two main concepts in my work: 

genitals are simply another part of our body, 

and sexuality is an everyday part of being a human being. 

This understanding is at the very heart of the Evolved Family method.

It’s actually quite powerful,

cos when we know this to be true, it gives us a lot of freedom! 

And all kinds of conversations with our kids become possible. 

Including chats about a younger brother’s willy.

So, if you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to support your 3-year-old who is super interested in her little brother’s willy, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

when you have kids who are on the spectrum. 

What many families do, when they have kids living with Autism, 

is default to saying less, not more about sensitive stuff. 

But the key to having connected chats with kids who are ND isn’t saying less. 

It’s focusing in on what makes your kids unique and awesome,

and having chats in ways that make the most of those qualities.

So, if you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to support your kid on the spectrum, join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

that will give you more connected conversations with your kids.

These questions come from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method, 

which is all about connection – and empathy. 

You may be surprised to learn (or not!) 

that the key to a lot of the questions we parents find the hardest to answer, 

is empathy. 

So let’s talk about the emotions and thoughts that go unsaid 

when we’re having sensitive conversations with our kids –

and how we can use those hidden questions, no matter how scary, 

to create a more connected family.

If you feel like you could use some more support to build deeper connections with your kid(s), join me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

I don’t remember myself if they hurt or not coming in, and I wasn’t able to talk to my own mother about anything to do with puberty.

I want to be there for my daughter, but it’s so hard when I had no advice or support passed down to me. So I feel quite lost.’

This is such a beautiful question. 

Because it’s about so much more than breasts growing. Isn’t it?

My answer comes from the Kindness pillar of the Evolved Family method, 

which helps us get ourselves into a really good place, 

so we can be there for our child in the way that we want to be. 

And NOT go on the old programming. 

(Or the total lack of programming.)

If you feel like you could use some more support for this part of your parenting, and to hear all about how to support your kid as they grow their breasts, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

Ps. At the end, I mention a new mini workshop that would be great for you if you are having trouble starting conversations about all sorts of sensitive stuff with any child you have at home. To find out more, visit me at www.sarahsproule.com/sayit

This parent’s young girl has started saying not very nice things about her own body, 

and has started expressing an interest in extremely skinny body types. 

(You can hear the whole question & story in this week’s podcast.)

This courageous but tongue-tied parent is confused, 

like many of us would be in her situation,

because she’s done everything right. 

She’s taught her kid about healthy eating, exercise and all the things. 

She’s never criticised her own body, or mentioned weight around her child. 

So how has this happened? 

As you can see, this is deep stuff.

If you’re feeling like you could use more support in this part of your parenting, and to hear much more about how to chat about body image with your kids, have a listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car here - 

And I’ll see you there.

x Sarah

Let’s  dig deep into three simple ways to make this easier.

The answer to this question comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method. 

As you might know, if you watch Sitting in a Car quite a lot,

the Courage pillar has to do 

with how we as adults can take responsibility for speaking up, 

and the tools we can use to do it. 

We learn how to start conversations, and what sentences and words to use.

The Courage pillar is especially helpful here, 

because a lot of grown-ups feel afraid of this topic! 

We might try to shield our kids from ever seeing porn in the first place (not possible), 

or we might worry that if we talk about it… they might go look for it. 

So how can we chat with our kids about porn, 

in a way that is non-alarming?

For lots of specific tips, watch this week’s episode here.

And if you’d like to get Sitting in a Car straight to your inbox, Dm me and I’ll get that sorted for you. 

x Sarah

This is such an important episode this week.

Because lots of us don’t feel comfortable talking about the clitoris.

The clitoris is all about pleasure. 

And pleasure is something we might find difficult to talk about with kids.

And you know what? That’s perfectly normal. 

A lot of us have had no modelling for how to have conversations about sensitive stuff with our kid(s. 

So it makes sense that we might feel a bit uncomfortable,

and not at all confident about how to do it.

This week I’ve got three tips to help you have the clitoris talk this week. They are all from the Growth Pillar inside the Evolved Family Method. 

To hear all about it, come join me in on Sitting in a Car.

And if you’d like to learn more about the Evolved Family Method, send me a PM and I’ll help you with that x

I started a conversation with her once about periods, and she was totally squicked out. 

I’d love some help.’

What a great question. I’m sure this parent isn’t alone in this. 

So what do we do when we have info we need to give our kid

so that they stay safe and healthy growing up, 

but which they’re too squicked out to hear?

My answer this week comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method. 

The Courage pillar helps us look at how we can support our child exactly as they are, 

without pretending, or wishing, they were easier to talk to about sensitive stuff!

It teaches us how to start conversations, and which actual words to use.

To hear more about how to use the Courage pillar and chat with your squicky kid about periods, 

listen to this week's episode of SItting in a Car here.

And here’s to doing our best to stay connected to our growing kids.

x Sarah

The way this wonderful mum phrased her question, was, 

‘How can I get my child to confide in me?’ 

Kids confide in adults when they feel a sense of connection, and a sense of safety. 

So how do we create that? 

In this week’s episode, we start with the question - 

Who do YOU confide in?

We learn from our own experience confiding in people,

about how to create this experience for our kids. 

So it's good to know exactly what those qualities are, that make us feel safe to confide in someone.

In this episode, there are three easy to use strategies and loads of real-life stories and examples, to help you take action to build deeper connection with your kid(s). 

To discover how you can use your own life experience to make this easier for your kid, make sure you don’t miss out on the most recent episode of Sitting in a Car.

how to avoid passing on shame to our kid(s). 

And I’m going to show you how the Evolved Family method does exactly that with it’s three pillars, 

Growth, Courage, and Kindness. 

Because the whole Evolved Family method is about reducing shame.

The best way I know to reduce shame, 

is by building deeper connections with our kids. 

And the way we do that, 

is by having conversations with our kids about sensitive things. 

Connection is about openness.

Connection is about feeling seen & heard.

When we feel connected w someone else,

shame doesn’t exist there.

So! Press play and listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car, cos it’s a special one. 

And if you’d like to know more about Growth, Courage and Kindness, and the Evolved Family method, 

email me at sarah (at) sarah sproule (dot) come and I’ll let you know the next time The Evolve School opens its doors.

How can I approach chats about non-traditional relationships?’ 

There are three things to think about, when you’re having chats like this with your kids.

It’s so important to teach our kids that they don’t have to fit into a mould, 

and be who the world tells them they should be!

And that they can just be fully themselves.  

And indeed, doesn’t the world tell us quite narrow, quite fixed things sometimes 

about what s=e=x is, 

and what gender is, and what relationships are? 

But of course we know that the options for who we grow up to be is so much wider and wonderful than that. 

So if we can chat with our kids about how the world teaches us very limiting ideas about relationships, 

we can help them to grow into whomever they are. 

And for much more about exactly how to have chats with your kids

in ways that leave loads of room for our kids’ uniqueness and the amazing diversity of life,  

listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

to talk about sex, bodies and puberty.’ 

I love this question because this parent is curious about what might be going on for her child.

And indeed it is a curious thing, 

and it’s very, very common! 

Tweens not wanting to talk about sensitive stuff, happens all the time.

There are three reasons why this very common thing might be happening.

My answers today came from the Kindness pillar of the Evolved Family method, 

which helps courageous but tongue-tied parents

create evolved and communicating families. 

There are three explanations why this is happening, so to learn more, join me for this week's episode of Sitting in a Car.

Here’s to doing our best for our growing and changing kid(s),

x Sarah

I’m terrified and I need to educate myself for the road ahead.’

What a lovely question.

My answer comes from the Courage pillar of the Evolved Family method,

which is the bit of The Evolve School (of which more later) 

where we learn how to speak up around things that are complicated, 

and confront our own fear. 

Questions about gender can really throw us parents into a panic sometimes!

But one thing I’ve learned about parenting, 

is that when I’m panicked or fearful for my kid,

I’m not able to connect with them. 

And connection is the most important thing we can have with our growing child. 

Connection means showing our kid that we understand how they’re feeling, 

and what they’re experiencing, 

and that we’re with them no matter what is going on.

This question about gender is a great reminder that sometimes life is  complex. 

So for more about how to stay present and actively support a child 

who could be questioning their gender, 

listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car here.  

x Sarah

Would you like to know when The Evolve School opens up next? Visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve and I’ll make sure you’re kept in the loop.

A parent who wrote in, has an over-enthusiastic kid

Who loves to hug and embrace and touch all the time!

And this parent’s not fully comfortable with this, 

but of course doesn’t want to shame her child.

This is a super question. 

My answer comes from the courage pillar of the Evolved Family method,

which looks at the skills we need to step up and speak out about super sensitive topics.

A situation like this is a great opportunity 

to teach our kid about consent.

So often, when we think about consent, 

we think about teaching our kid to speak up for themselves, 

and how to say no when they need to say no.

But another really important part of consent, 

is learning to listen to other people’s needs.

If you want to learn more about that, 

visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve and put your name down 

to find out when The Evolve School opens next.

In the meantime, to hear much more about how to hold gentle but firm boundaries without shame, 

and how to help our kids get what they need,

spend some time with me on this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car .

And why giving one to your child isn’t as great an idea as you might think. 

I get questions about books A LOT. 

‘What books can I buy, Sarah?

To explain to my kid about puberty? …about how babies are made? …about other sensitive stuff?’

I want to get one thing really clear first -

Books can be brilliant! They can help a lot. 

But they’re not enough.

Inside The Evolve School, I hear parents’ stories 

about their own experiences being given books as kids.

These were not positive experiences. 

Inevitably, their parents handed them a book and said something like, 

‘Let me know if you’ve any questions.’

And here’s the problem.

When someone just hands us a book, 

our brain gets a super secret message. 

The message is: ‘We don’t talk about these things.’

Even if your parent says it’s ok to ask questions, 

our brain still gets the super secret message, “Don’t talk”. 

To hear more about why just buying even a really good book for our kid isn’t enough, listen to this week's episode.

And take good care, Wonderful.

x Sarah

What a great thing to chat about!

But before we get into it, I want to reminisce a bit.

We are so influenced by the culture we’re raised in.

Depending on the country where you are living, there will be different levels of nakedness that seem normal.

But we also get to create our own family culture,

we can think about this stuff, and decide for ourselves how we want to be with our body, 

and how we want our family to be.

Isn’t that great?

To hear more about nakedness, listen to this week episode of Sitting in a Car. Let’s chat about being nude

‘How can I talk to very young children about periods?’

Like many of us, 

she has small children who come into the loo with her :)

when she’s changing her period products. 

And she’s worried about how to answer their questions.

 I’m absolutely certain this parent is not alone with this issue!

So let’s chat about it.

The first thing to know,

is that even when we’re NOT talked to about periods, 

our kid’s brains are still picking up information. 

Their brains subconsciously realise: hmm, this is something we don’t talk about.

I remember one day when I was around 11,

my mum came into my bedroom,

and she had a box of tampons, and the little chart that came with them, 

showing the bits of the body and where to put everything. 

I screamed the house down. 

‘GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!’

And then of course a year or two later when I got my period, 

I didn’t know what to do!

I was a bit of a victim of my own embarrassment! :)

But of course this happened because in the culture I was living in,

periods were NOT talked about as part of everyday life. 

So this is why we talk about this stuff. To prevent the embarrassment from setting

in in the first place.

Because we realise, now - this thing of not talking about periods, doesn’t actually work so well.

And we want to try a different way.

Listen to this week’s watch this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car 

That’s my question for you this week.

Do you want your kid(s) to come to you with anything at all … so they don’t feel worried or isolated?

Do you want your kids to avoid the pitfalls that tripped you up when you were a young person?

You want to talk to them about sensitive things in a way that’s different to what you experienced growing up?

This week I’ll describe how fundamentally important it is to have conversations with kid(s) about consent, bodies, relationships, sex and all the other sensitive stuff.

And I’ll show you why watching Sitting in a Car each week may not be all you need to make the changes your kid(s) needs you to make.

To hear why I cry in this week’s episode, listen to this latest episode of Sitting in a Car.

Because I believe that when adults are willing to seek extra help and really make the big changes for the sake of their kids’ future, we can fundamentally change the health and quality of the relationships our kids have in the future.

x Sarah

To learn more about building more connections with your kids by talking about sensitive, stuff visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve to sign up for a free Masterclass ‘Build More Connection’ and get an introduction to The Evolve School.

I’ll see you on the other side.

even if you’re not sure they’re old enough.

For a lot of us,

consent can feel like a super tricky area.

‘Cause consent is about sex, right?

So in order to chat with your kid about consent –

to help them know their own boundaries and needs,

while respecting the boundaries and needs of others –

they need to know about sex.

Right?

Actually, not at all!

We can start helping our kids understand about consent

from when they’re very small.

To hear more about how to teach our kids about consent

in everyday ways, no matter their age, watch this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car

x Sarah

If you’re finding that teaching consent is becoming increasingly important to you,

DM me so I can let you know how The Evolve School could help you do this important part of parenting x

Sarah's instagram 

in a way that makes them feel supported

and able to come to you with any questions or worries they have as they grow up.

Here’s what A LOT of courageous but tongue-tied parents do,

when it comes to chatting about puberty.

They wait to chat with their kids about puberty,

until they begin to see the signs that their kid might be starting to go through it.

And THEN,

they have, or try to have, a conversation with their kid about it.

That makes sense right?

But here’s the problem.

if you don’t talk about any of this stuff with your kid when they are younger and feeling relaxed in their body,

AND THEN suddenly out of the blue start talking about it with your kid while their body is already changing,

there’s going to be a *lot* of awkwardness.

But! Good news.

There are ways to prevent this.

For lots more about how to dive into the complexities of starting ongoing conversations with your kid

about puberty and so much more,

listen to this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

even if you feel too embarrassed to start! 

I have a story for you in this week’s podcast

about a moment once upon a time in my own life,

where I had a sensitive conversation with one of my kids at bedtime, in a dark and quiet room. 

(You can hear all about it in this week’s podcast.)

There’s more than just one way to have a sensitive conversation. 

We talk about this a lot in The Evolve School, 

the programme I teach for parents & caring adults 

who want to go from courageous but tongue-tied

to evolved and communicating.

(I say more about that in this weeks video)

So what can you do, if you know your kids need these kinds of chats, 

about sex, bodies, babies and all the things,  

but you’re too embarrassed to start? 

Listen to this week’s episode of Sitting In A Car to hear how to explore your own embarrassment in order to help your kids.

And to sign up to get EVEN MORE help with your conversations about sex, head over to www.sarahsproule.com/evolve to join the new free masterclass and Discover A New Way to Be More Connected With Your Kid(s) … and talk about sensitive subjects.

before they even think to ask them?

(and what about “How do the sperm ACTUALLY get out of your body, Dad?”)

This is such a good topic to chat about.

Because there are LOADS of courageous but tongue-tied parents out there,

who are nervously waiting for their kids to ask questions

about sex, bodies, babies and all the things.

They worry, Am I doing the right thing by waiting?

They worry, Is my child too young for us to be chatting about this?

They might even worry, Shouldn’t my kid be asking these questions by now?

To discover how to prepare for these convos

before your kids have even thought about them,

join me on this week’s episode of Sitting In A Car.

See you there,

x Sarah

about a time the kids and I talked about masturbation.

It involves a car journey, and some talk radio.

(You can hear the whole story in this week’s podcast.)

First, some misconceptions.

Some people think

that only boy children need chats about masturbation. Right?

Nope!

All kids need chats about how touching our own bodies, including the private bits,

is perfectly ok and a normal part of life.

And some people think

that the right kid's age to have chats about masturbation is just before puberty. Right?

Nope again!

You can actually start chatting about how and where we touch the private bits of our our body,

when kids are age 4 or even younger.

In fact, it’s good to normalise this part of how the body works,

and to teach rules and boundaries around it,

when kids are really small.

This is how we avoid shame for our kids.

‘How do I respond to things I hear my kid say that I don’t agree with?’

This is a great question,

because on the one hand, we want to raise kids whose values are in line with ours.

But on the other hand, we don’t want our kid to feel we’re constantly telling them

that what they believe is wrong!

So what can we do?

This is a super-juicy topic

and this week’s episode gives you loads of real-world tips on how to have these conversations.

By the way, you may be starting to realise

that gaining higher level skills like these is becoming a priority for you. Your kids are growing older

and you want your skills to be rock-solid.

If that sounds like you,

visit www.sarahsproule.com/evolve

and leave me your info.

That way I can let you know the next time I open The Evolve School –

so you'll be able to learn everything you need to know

about how to have these sorts of conversations and build more connection with your growing kid.

Sarah x

What a great question.

Quite honestly, lots of us grew up without much information about the vulva and the clitoris.

(I have a story for you about that, in our episode this week.)

So hear all about it in this weeks episode.

And for more about the course I run,

that helps parents and caring adults just like you stay connected with their kids

while chatting about ‘glitterises’ and so much more,

drop me a email at sarah@sarahsproule.com

so I can tell you the next time it’s running.

It’s starting soon!

Quite honestly, it can be a challenge.

So, while you might not have ever thought that taking about how babies are made and prepping for Christmas is in anyway related, listen to the three simply strategies this week that will help you get clear on how to build more connection with your kid(s) while prepping the Santa stockings.

To learn more about supporting your kids and building more connection as they grow,

head on over to iTunes or Spotify for the last episode of Sitting in a Car this year (or YouTube if you’d like to watch rather than listen).

Here’s a big, squeezy, virtual end-of-year hug for you from me and my best wishes for the tastiest roast turkey (or vege alternative) and Christmas pudding ever. And don’t forget about the loveliest conversations with your kids about sensitive but important stuff.

x Sarah

Ps. If you’d like to make 2021 the year you get super focused on staying connected with your growing kids by having open and natural conversations about bodies, sex and consent, head over to www.sarahsproule.com/easier and pop in your details. You don’t have to work out how to do this on your own

Because when we talk about how to help our kids through puberty, 

what we’re actually talking about is empathy. 

We’re talking about creating a connection 

that tells our kids that we’re comfortable talking about ALL kinds of things in our home, 

and that they are not alone.

So how can we help our kids feel this support? 

If you want to become more comfortable being a parent  to a young person approaching puberty, and

for more about how to help our kids through the exciting and sometimes scary adventure that is puberty,

(the secret sauce is empathy and connection) have a look at this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car

and also explain that someone can hurt and abuse them?’

The parent adds:

‘‘My own first memories of talks about sex were about abuse and rape.

And never anything about pleasure.

I’ve been trying to undo the damage of that memory for years.’

What an amazing question.

It kind of points to a larger conversation

about how we balance talking to our kids about the good things in life,

with talking to them about the bad things and the dangers of life.

So how can we find a balance

when we’re talking about sex and relationships?

There is so much more to say about this wonderful question!

To hear more about how to find that balance,

and how to give our kids the tools to have fulfilling relationships,

listen to today’s episode of Sitting In A Car here.

We might think it’s as simple as making a cup of tea, and then working out if the person wants to drink it or not.

Or as simple as working out what we want, and then just saying that thing.

But sometimes, it’s really, really not.

The thing is, often we have to balance consent

with responsibilities to other people.

We have to think about other people’s safety.

And what other people want and need.

For example, we can’t drive on whichever side of the road we like!

Because the road doesn’t only belong to us.

And so there are rules we all agree to follow.

Even if we don’t want to.

So how can we help our child, and model consent,

when they really, really don’t want to sit on the potty?

For more about how to model consent when our kid needs to do something they REALLY REALLY don’t want to do,

and for more ideas on how to help them in that moment,

listen to week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

And if so,

how should you do it?’

The parent who wrote in with this question also said,

‘I can talk about procreation, but I can’t jump to pleasure!

What do I do now?’

This is such a great conversation to have!

Because, if you think about it,

we are so careful, and spend so much time, learning how to talk to our kids

about sperms and eggs and how we make new humans.

But… most sex that humans have, is because sex feels nice!

It’s not to make new babies.

So how on earth do we talk about that?

For more thoughts about this fascinating and complex topic,

about why we should talk about pleasure with our kids starting from when they’re very small,

and scripts and ideas for how to do it,

have a listen to this week’s episode.

In the next few minutes, you’ll find out the answer is YES! But how?

The absolute BEST time to start laying the foundations of those chats with our kids,

is when they’re very small.

I have a story for you this week

about what happened when my own mum didn’t start having chats with me

about puberty until after my body started changing -

and then suddenly tried to talk to me about periods when I was 11.

Spoiler alert, it didn’t go well.

(You can hear about that in this week’s video.)

For more about why and how we can be chatting to our very small kids

about sexuality, puberty, babies and all the things,

and for an ACTUAL LIST! of stuff you can be chatting about,

listen to this week’s episode.

x Sarah

without shaming her?

I’ve said that his penis is private, like her vulva is for her.

But she keeps doing it.’

What a great question.

As parents, it’s good to talk about this.

Because when stuff like this happens with our kids,

we immediately think about horrible news stories of abuse and non-consent,

and our minds go to some very scary places.

So we really want to get this right.

But here’s the thing.

It’s actually NORMAL for kids to be curious about bodies.

Their own bodies, and other people’s.

To hear more about this great question,

listen to this week's episode.

x Sarah

PS. I love making this stuff easier for you!

So, starting this week, if you’d like the highlight sheet from today’s episode,

just send me a DM and i’ll sort that out for you 👍🏼

Because yes, it’s about consent, my favourite subject –

and consent isn’t always about sex so that makes it an easy topic to talk about with smaller kids.

You see, consent is actually about respecting yourself and others.

And we all want to raise kids who respect themselves and the people around them :)

So, YES!

We certainly can talk about consent with very young kids.

And the great thing about wanting to talk about consent is

childhood is FULL of everyday opportunities that help our kids see why consent is so important.

I have a story for you this week

about something I overheard, during one of my kids’ playdates,

where a really gross, funny game was happening,

and how I intervened, to let everyone know

that nobody has to eat anything they don’t want to eat (don’t ask!).

Enjoy this week's episode. It’s a good one

x Sarah

Because it’s about how we parent in a broken world.

I have a story for you this week. It’s about my child saying ‘too much’ to a kid whose parents weren’t ready for their kid to learn about sex.

Boy, was it awkward.

It had real repercussions.

(You can hear about it by listening to the whole episode.)

The fact is, kids talk.

And the reality also is, some grown-ups don’t think it’s right for kids to know facts about sex, puberty and bodies.

Or, maybe these parents want to talk, but they don’t know how.

So they just say nothing.

The difficulty is this. We know that it’s really important for our kids to have accurate information about sex from trusted grown-ups.

It gives kids a feeling of comfort and normality around the subject.

It means that far, far into the future, when they’re adults, they’re better able to keep themselves happy and safe, and the people around them too.

And it helps that our kids know that if ever they have questions,

or if something goes a bit wrong,

they can come to us.

Those are great reasons!

To hear more about this tricky but super-important subject,

and to hear my story about how awkward it can be (I’ve been there!),

have a look at this week's Sitting in a Car.

without body shaming them?’

What a great question!

It’s so useful for all of us who want to raise a child who is not ashamed of their body.

Lots of us know from personal experience that when we feel shame about our body,

it disempowers us.

It makes it harder to speak up for what we need.

It makes it harder to ask for help if something doesn't feel right.

It even makes it harder to ask for medical attention when we need it.

So there are so many great reasons why we want to avoid body shame for our kids.

How can we help our kids understand that there are rules about how and when we touch our own bodies,

without body shaming them?

To hear more about how to have these conversations about bodies,

and about how to raise kids without shame,

have a look at Sitting in a Car this week

x Sarah

‘‘If I don’t have boys, should I talk to my daughter about porn?’

This is such a great question.

Because it’s about so much more than porn.

It’s about all the media we might see

that has an impact on our ability to accept ourselves,

accept other people,

understand there are different types of bodies,

and there are all kinds of s=e=x=.

So it’s a big question!

And the short answer is… YES.

We should chat with all of our kids, of all genders, about porn.

To hear more of my answer to this great question, about how us adults can help our kids build these skills,

Listen to this week's video 👆

This week’s question is such a great one.

It came from an 11-year-old.

If you’re a vagina owner, you may have had this question yourself, at some time in your life.

I call this kind of question an ‘am I normal?’ kind of question.

I get ‘am I normal’ questions a lot from kids.

Part of why I get these questions a lot

might be because sometimes when kids are growing up,

they don’t have a person they can ask

if they have questions about bodies, babies, puberty, and all the things.

(I’ve got a story for you about that in this week’s episode, from my own childhood.)

To learn more about how to empower the vagina-owning young people in your life,

and ways to let your kids know you’re a person they can ask about this stuff,

have a look at this week’s video.

www.sarahsproule.com/booklist

This is such an important question.

This week in Sitting in a Car, I tell a story about a grandmother who answered a question when her granddaughter asked about sex and what happened next.

(There are BLOOPERS and spelling mistakes in this week's episode FYI so if you want to find those, make sure you watch to the very end! #facepalm)

Let’s be clear. If a child ever asks you a question about something sensitive, it’s a wonderful thing. It shows that you are approachable and they trust you. You should be honoured that you are in this awkward situation.

To hear more about what to say to other people’s children,

have a look at this week’s episode.

What an awesome question this week.

It’s important for all adults to think about this, even if your kids are older or younger.

I think the answer starts with how we can get comfortable doing the parts of parenting that feel extra difficult.

(In this weeks episode, I tell a personal story about how my anxiety stopped me being able to show up for  my kids in an everyday situation.)

So what can parents and other adults who care for children say to young kids about how babies are born?

To hear more about how to chat about birth,

Listen to this week's episode.

She needs to be strongly encouraged to wash!”

What a great question!

I love that boundaries are included there.

Because the person asking the question is acknowledging

that we can be teaching our child about consent

even with the most basic conversations about their body.

Sometimes, a kid is a bit resistant to bathing, without being even conscious of it.

Sometimes not bathing is just a habit.

And sometimes kids’ habits need to change, as they grow into adults and their bodies change.

And we can help them with that.

(I have a story for you about this from my own family. Listen to this episode to hear more)

So this week I have some ways we can help our young people grow into adults

and learn to take care of their bodies in a way that works for them.

‘Any advice on a good way to correct a child on their gender stereotypes

like ‘green is a boy colour’?’

D’you know what’s interesting about this question?

‘Green is a boy’s colour’ is sort of true…

Yes, true.

But only SORT of true.

We’re all constantly surrounded by secret messages and rules about gender. We see and hear them …

All.

The.

Time.

And it can be really hard NOT to believe them.

So how can we correct our growing small person

when they make a statement that assumes something about gender? Find out more in this week’s episode of Sitting in a Car.

x Sarah

‘What if talking about p0*n, makes my child curious – and they go looking for it?’

You might have a version of this question yourself.

What if I talk to my kid about p0*n – or for that matter bodies, babies, puberty and s=e=x –

and it makes them curious,

and they go looking for these things?

Kids need us to have these convos.

So that they have the info to be able to think critically,

and to distinguish what is ok,

what is a bit weird,

and what is just plain wrong for them.

So to learn more about how it’s not only ok, but good, to chat with your kid about p0*n and other places we might see s=e=x,

have a look at our video

Wait for it ...

‘Does a condom work all the time?’

Hmm!

How comfortable are you talking about condoms with your 11-year-old kid?

Or your young person of any age?

I remember the first time I had s=e=x, penis-in-vagina type sex.

We didn’t use a condom.

Nope.

Nobody had really talked to me about that sort of thing.

(I chat more about that in this week’s video.)

So what can us parents say to our young people in case they are worried about this part of growing up?

To hear more about how to chat about condoms, listen to this week’s episode.

There’s even more help is on the way for parents and other caring adults who would like to ‘Become A Comfortable Parent’. To find out more about that, listen right to the end of Sitting in a Car.

Or if you DO have a partner, but they’re even less of a comfortable parent than you are!

This week’s question is,

‘Any advice if my partner doesn’t want to get involved in talking to our kids about sex?’

In a way, this question is about consent.

Not all of us are comfortable or able to do all the bits of parenting!

I have a story for you this week about that from my own family

(Watch this episode of Sitting In A Car to hear it).

Yes, our children benefit hugely from open, comfortable convos about bodies, puberty and sex.

But no-one should feel pressured to go against their abilities and feelings of comfort, and maybe even their feelings of safety.

Join me for Sitting In A Car to learn more ways to do your best parenting and talk about sensitive things.

x Sarah

These messages tell us what is ‘ok’ for our body looks like… and what is ‘wrong’ for our body to look like.

This is a subject close to my own heart.

Like some of you, I’ve had a love-hate relationship with my own hair my whole life.

I love some bits of it!

And other bits of it drive me mad.

Join me on week’s episode of Sitting in A Car and let’s talk secrets about pubic hair.

x Sarah

Ps. My free workshop series ‘Become A Comfortable Parent’ is all about helping you to feel more at ease and confident having ongoing conversations with your kid(s). Most of us want to raise confident, caring young people who respect themselves and the people around them.

If you’d like to know when the next workshop starts, head on over to www.sarahsproule.com/comfortable

We’ve a question this week

for parents whose kids have been home from school for what feels like forever.

Which is most of us.

Here’s something reassuring.

What’s wonderful about learning is that it doesn’t take place only in the classroom.

There’s lots of other places and ways that kids learn.

And that’s relevant here.

Check out the website https://amaze.org

How do we expect boys to be understanding when they don’t even know what the word menstruation means?’

For a deep convo about this great question, 

including a funny story about what happens

when ALL people aren’t taught about

ALL the bits of the body, 

join me for this week’s episode of Sitting In A Car.

It's sort of about what happens in parenting when we don’t get things exactly right…

I have a story for you, about a thing my own mum didn’t get exactly right. 

She was doing her very best – but she was given the wrong information.

(You can hear what happened in this week’s Sitting In A Car.)

So what can you do when you feel that you maybe haven’t supported your kid 

as well as you might have liked to?

Listen watch more to hear my 3 ideas. 

should you initiate the conversation?

How do you know what they’re ready to learn?’

This is such a great question, because it gets to the heart of what we think about s=e=x=.

And the answer to this question applies to children of every age.

In our video and podcast this week, there are loads of great ways to get this convo started, even if you’re both new at it.

‘How do you deal with awkward daddies?

Ours panics at the word vagina when our girls say it.’

This is such a super question,

because it allows us to chat about gender,

and the expectations around what certain genders get to say and do.

In this week’s episode, I talk about how to make space for male parents to grow into talking to their kids about puberty, bodies and sex.

This is such a good question -

and not just for parents of 9-year-olds who are thinking about periods,

but for all of us.

Cos this question is really about connection.

This week on Sitting In A Car, I remember when I got my first period.

Because my family didn’t talk about periods, I decided I wanted to keep my period a secret.

(You can hear how that worked out here.)

‘If I’ve a gay or lesbian child, how do I talk about sex and relationships?’  

This is such a great question.

Because it might seem like it’s a question only for parents of LGBTQ+ young people.

But it’s not!

It’s a question for all of us.

Because it’s really about:

how do we raise children and young people

to be adults who are comfortable being themselves?