The Ex-Good Girl Podcast

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Find Your Outside Voice Part 2 - The Hidden Tax

Sara Bybee Fisk — Thu, 02 Apr 2026 12:00:00 GMT

Save your spot for my upcoming workshop HERE!

How to Find Your Outside Voice is a miniseries leading up to my free workshop, Say What You Need to Say. This series is driven by my deep belief that when women learn how to speak up in ways that feel safe and doable, it can change everything. In this episode, we’re talking about the hidden tax of not speaking up and how it drains your time, energy, and connection until you start asking yourself what you actually want.

Register for Say What You Need to Say, a free one-hour workshop for women who are ready to finally ask for what they want and need in their relationships.

You have three options to join me LIVE: Thursday, April 9th at 5:00pm PT | Monday, April 13th at 12pm PT | Friday, April 17th at 9am PT
You’ll get three steps you can use this week to find your yes or no — and say it out loud.
This workshop is free. No catch.

Find Sara here:

Find Your Outside Voice Part 1 - You Make Sense

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 01 Apr 2026 12:00:00 GMT

Save your spot for my upcoming workshop HERE!

How to Find Your Outside Voice is a miniseries leading up to my free workshop, Say What You Need to Say. This series is driven by my deep belief that when women learn how to speak up in ways that feel safe and doable, it can change everything. In this episode, we start with a powerful truth: if you’re struggling to speak up, you make sense.

Register for Say What You Need to Say, a free one-hour workshop for women who are ready to finally ask for what they want and need in their relationships.

You have three options to join me LIVE: Thursday, April 9th at 5:00pm PT | Monday, April 13th at 12pm PT | Friday, April 17th at 9am PT
You’ll get three steps you can use this week to find your yes or no—and say it out loud.
This workshop is free. No catch.

Find Sara here:

facebook.com/shirlee.draper

Episode 157 - Leaving Polygamy, Finding my Voice with Shirlee Draper

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 25 Mar 2026 12:00:00 GMT

Today, I get to talk with someone whose story has stayed with me for years. Shirlee Draper grew up in a polygamist community that became more controlling and unsafe as time went on. With no money, no work history, and no support outside her community, she made the difficult decision to leave everything behind and start over. We discuss the tension between staying and knowing something isn’t right, and what it takes to start trusting yourself again. This conversation is not just about Shirlee’s journey—it’s about what can happen when women find their voice and their autonomy. Here’s what we cover:

How Shirlee spent years saving money and quietly planning before she could leave
What it means to choose the “least harmful option” when every choice feels like a betrayal
Why we can’t understand other people’s choices without their experiences and context
Why decision-making is something you have to learn after being told what to do your whole life
What it looks like to help women build their own inner voice instead of replacing it with another authority

Shirlee Draper was born and raised in “Short Creek.” After leaving the community, she obtained a Bachelor of Social Work and a Master of Public Administration. She has served in many capacities in the rebirth of her hometown, including facilitating the election of the first female mayor in 2017; opening a community health clinic in 2019; serving on the board of the UEP Trust and Short Creek Community Center; and part of the Collective Impact project aimed at community revitalization.She is employed as Deputy Director for Cherish Families, a social service nonprofit which helps people from polygamous backgrounds move from crisis to thriving. She specializes in bridging the population with mainstream society and provides education for outside service providers and government agencies She also serves on several state and civic committees. Shirlee lives in St. George with her special needs children and loves to play the piano, read and travel.

Find Shirlee here:

cherishfamilies.org

instagram.com/shirlee_jd

linkedin.com/in/shirlee-draper

lostandfound.club/events

Support Cherish Families' work

Find Sara here:

Episode 156 - Healing in a Community of Women Re-Release

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 18 Mar 2026 12:00:00 GMT

I’m bringing back an episode that explores something I care about deeply: the healing that happens when women gather in community. We live in a culture that conditions women to believe something is wrong with them—that we’re too emotional, our thoughts don't make sense, and we can’t trust ourselves. But when women share their real experiences with each other, that belief begins to unravel. In this re-release, I discuss the communities I’ve been part of that have shaped my life and why support from other women can drive powerful change. Here’s what I cover:

How patriarchal conditioning teaches women to believe they constantly need fixing
Why witnessing other women’s stories helps us see that we are not “extra special super broken”
How being witnessed by other women can completely change the way we see ourselves
Two common obstacles that keep women from seeking community and how to move through them
Why learning with and from other women creates powerful momentum for growth and change

Find Sara here:

Episode 155 - The Powerful Combination of Choice and Voice Re-Release

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 11 Mar 2026 12:00:00 GMT

To what degree do you feel capable of saying what you want to say in your life and in your relationships? In this episode, I’m revisiting one of my favorite episodes about the powerful combination of choice and voice. A revolution happens when women say what they want to say. When you can express how you really feel, it becomes easier to stand up for yourself and set expectations. Your relationships shift, your choices become clearer, and you stop performing and start actually living. Here’s what I cover:

One of the key skills I teach my clients: how to articulate themselves during difficult conversations
How reconnecting to your own wants and needs is a process that takes time
Why we are capable of updating the relationships in our lives to match our current wants and needs
Why authenticity removes the pressure to perform in order to feel accepted
How learning to handle the stress of advocating for yourself leads to deeper integrity and lasting comfort

Find Sara here:

Episode 154 - What Needs To Be Said with Alex Reegan Re-Release

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 04 Mar 2026 13:00:00 GMT

This episode is a reminder of how prejudice can soften when we look beyond policies to see real people, and it feels especially important to bring it back now. In this re-release of a past conversation, I’m joined by my dear friend Alex Regan, a trans man, interfaith minister, speaker, author, and transformative spiritual coach. Meeting Alex changed my life because it replaced my experience of an abstract label with a real human being with a nervous system, a story, hopes, and fears just like me. Once you see someone clearly like that, it becomes much harder to ignore how they are being treated. My hope is that hearing Alex’s story will create that same kind of shift for you. Here’s what I cover:

How stories reduce prejudice by turning a “group” into a real person you actually care about
How good girl conditioning trains us to abandon ourselves and why that wiring shows up everywhere
Alex’s journey of unlearning evangelical rules and building trust in his own inner knowing
What it looks like to stop fighting for approval and let people be wrong about you
How community changes everything when you stop performing and start living as your real self

Find Alex here:

www.alexreegan.com

www.instagram.com/revreegs

Find Sara here:

Episode 153 - Using the Past and the Future to Solve Problems in the Present

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 25 Feb 2026 13:00:00 GMT

It’s so easy to feel stuck and overwhelmed when we haven’t figured something out yet. But what if you looked for the evidence in your life that you can solve the problem? In this episode, I share how I’m borrowing belief from my past self to help me make a decision I’m wrestling with now. Instead of demanding certainty or shaming myself for not knowing the answer, I’m using real proof from my own history to help me relax while I take the time to figure it out. Here’s what I cover:

How leaving the church one step at a time taught me how to untangle my beliefs
Why your brain relaxes when you offer it real evidence from your past
How to copy and paste a past growth process onto the problem you’re facing today
The self-judgment that creeps in when you think you should have it figured out by now
A powerful visualization to help you imagine the future version of you who already solved the problem

Find Sara here:

Episode 152 - How to Stay Informed Without Losing Yourself

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 18 Feb 2026 13:00:00 GMT

The overwhelming amount of information, emotion, and terror we are experiencing in the world right now can make it hard to know what to do with ourselves. Last week’s episode came from my own experience of feeling like I was going to break and realizing my nervous system was completely overloaded. In this episode, I build on that and talk about what to do—because it’s not enough to say you will “just get off social media” or “stop doom scrolling.” If it were that simple, I would have stopped, and maybe you would have too. We’ll look at why this is so hard to put down and what it takes to step back in a way that allows you to stay informed without losing yourself in the crush of information. Here’s what I cover:

Why doom scrolling is not activism and can hinder you from taking thoughtful action
The good girl rules that make disengaging feel like a moral failing
Why learning to regulate your nervous system can be a powerful form of resistance
What happens when your reptile brain takes over and you’re stuck in looping thoughts
Practical ways to regulate so you can stay informed and respond in ways that actually help

Find Sara here:

Episode 151 - Your Body Was Never Meant to Hold This

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 11 Feb 2026 13:00:00 GMT

Over the last few weeks, the constant exposure to human suffering, injustice, and horrifying information has felt like an avalanche. If you’ve been taking this in through social media and the news like I have, you might notice yourself swinging between obsessing and shutting down, or believing that if you look away or take a break, it means you don’t care. In this episode, I share what helped me understand what was actually happening in my nervous system and why feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body was never meant to hold all of this. Here’s what I cover:

An Instagram post that helped me understand how the overwhelm we’re living through impacts the body
How flooding ourselves with horrific information without containment destabilizes our nervous systems
Why empathy and good girl conditioning can turn caring into self-sacrifice
Three things to pay attention to so we can stay connected to the truth without losing ourselves
What it looks like to give yourself permission to decide what level of engagement is right for you

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

instagram.com/darshana_avila

Episode 150 - Erotic Wholeness with Darshana Avila

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 04 Feb 2026 13:00:00 GMT

In this episode, I sit down with erotic wholeness guide Darshana Avila to talk about embodiment, authenticity, and coming home to the body. Darshana was featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & Goop, which was one of my early introductions to a broader idea of eroticism as I began to unravel my good girl conditioning. We explore what happens when women don’t know what they want or don’t trust their bodies—a disconnection shaped by the systems we were raised in, not personal failure. Darshana offers a different path forward, rooted in compassion, nervous-system safety, and learning to listen to the body. Here’s what we cover:

How Darshana defines erotic wholeness and why it’s not limited to sex
Why “I don’t know what I want” is a common and understandable starting point
What compartmentalization looks like in real life and how conditioning keeps it in place
How authenticity begins with sensing what is and isn’t for you
Simple ways to begin reconnecting through your senses and the four allies of erotic embodiment

Darshana Avila is a trauma-informed somatic educator, practitioner and international speaker who helps people reconnect with the most essential aspects of themselves — their truth, their desires, and their capacity for profound pleasure and power. Her work has been featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & Goop, The Guardian, The New Yorker, and numerous leading podcasts.

Find Darshana here:

darshanaavila.com

youtube.com/@darshana-avila

linkedin.com/in/darshana-avila

https://darshanaavila.com/podcast/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 149 - We Need To Talk About Codependency

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 28 Jan 2026 13:00:00 GMT

For a long time, codependency has been framed as weakness or passivity—that’s why so many strong, capable, high-functioning women hear that word and immediately think, that is absolutely not me. In this episode, I explore where the concept of codependency actually came from and why that original definition often doesn’t fit. When we widen the lens, codependency starts to look a lot more like over-functioning and organizing your time, energy, and identity around other people. When we can understand it in that way, it opens up a much more honest and hopeful path forward. Here’s what I cover:

Why the original addiction-based definition of codependency misses how it shows up for high-functioning women
How control can turn into codependency and start to replace your self-connection
What it looks like when your identity is built around being needed or emotionally steady
How codependency costs you your time, energy, and brain space, whether it feels like over-functioning or under-functioning
Questions to help you notice where you’re managing others in order to feel okay

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 148 - You Can Get Good at Conflict

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 21 Jan 2026 13:00:00 GMT

Improving your conflict skills isn’t about finding the perfect words—it’s about understanding why conflict feels so hard in the first place. When your body believes that speaking up could cost you connection, of course it freezes, softens, or stays quiet. In this episode, I talk about how our nervous systems learned early on that conflict wasn’t safe, and why that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. When we slow down and get curious about our conflict response rather than judging it, that’s when real change becomes possible, and you can actually get good at conflict. Here’s what I cover:

How shifting from “what’s wrong with me?” to “why does this make sense?” helps eliminate the self-criticism spiral
The early lessons your body learned about conflict, compliance, and staying connected
How people-pleasing and staying small function as intelligent survival strategies
The questions I offer to help you look backward and make sense of your conflict response
How attachment patterns shape what your body expects will happen when conflict threatens connection

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 147 - How I Make Sense of the Absolute Bullshit Going on Right Now

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 14 Jan 2026 13:00:00 GMT

We are living through an incredibly intense political, social, and cultural moment, and it’s easy to fall into the despair and overwhelm of it all. In this episode, I’m sharing a framework that helps me make sense of what's happening and hold onto hope. Spiral dynamics explains how humans organize around shared value systems, and what happens when those systems collide and begin to collapse. While these transitions are often destabilizing and painful, what we’re living through is not random–and understanding the pattern offers the reminder that how we choose to show up, care for ourselves, and embody the values we want to see matters. Here’s what I cover:

The origin of spiral dynamics and how the framework can show up in everyday life
Why systems resist evolution with the same fear and violence they were established with
How the framework of spiral dynamics relates to good girl rules and people-pleasing tendencies
Why nervous system safety and connection matter alongside protest, organizing, and action during times of change
How rest, pleasure, joy, and community are not distractions, but essential tools for surviving times of massive transition

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 146 - Five Questions I’m Asking This Year

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 07 Jan 2026 13:00:00 GMT

Is your social media feed overflowing with New Year’s resolutions and tips to optimize your life? This mindset can feel overwhelming, so instead of pushing for the “perfect” 2026, I’m offering something else in this episode: five questions I return to again and again to recalibrate my relationship with myself. These questions aren’t about productivity or self-improvement. They’re an invitation to unlearn good girl conditioning, step out of self-abandonment, and choose a way of living that actually feels like yours. Here’s what I cover:

How women’s socialization continues to shape our choices and behaviors
What passivity actually looks like when your desires and preferences go unspoken
Why overworking isn’t just physical labor, but emotional, relational, and mental labor too
How self-abandonment is at the core of people pleasing and putting yourself last
Why joy, fun, and play can be nourishment instead of something you earn after work

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 145 - Best Of: How To Have Your Own Back

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 31 Dec 2025 13:00:00 GMT

Learning to have my own back is the most powerful thing I’ve ever done for myself, which is why I’m bringing back this essential episode as we head into the new year. Many women internalize their mistakes, leading to a spiral of shameful thoughts that can be very draining. But how can we shut that down? If we bully ourselves, then we're not safe with ourselves, and we're not safe anywhere. You deserve that essential safety. In this episode, I'll help you identify the bullying voice in your head and shut it down. Here’s what I cover:

How to recognize the internal bully in your own voice and why certain “questions” are actually accusations
Why being unsafe with yourself creates shame spirals that drain hours of your time and energy
A powerful reframe using your younger self to stop self-bullying before it takes over
Two practical ways to shut down the brain bully: the hard pass and loving engagement
How having your own back makes it possible to take risks, try new things, and live with more freedom

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 144 - Best Of: Too Much and Not Enough

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 13:00:00 GMT

This week, I’m bringing back one of the most meaningful and widely listened-to episodes of the podcast. The patriarchal, capitalist, Western way of life imposes certain values and expectations on the way women think, feel, and choose to live. When we fail to meet these expectations, we can often feel lackluster or unsatisfied. Even if we do attain these expectations, there is always another critique looming about the deficit in our lives. In this episode, we will discuss how perfectionism is a manifestation of these societal pressures, and explore ways to shift our mindset to focus on being better, rather than perfect. Here’s what I cover:

The importance of celebrating our daily small wins rather than fixating on what we could do better
How the word “better” becomes an invisible authority that keeps women stuck and self-doubting
Why women are taught not to let emotional labor, grief, or inner work count as real success
How it's possible to feel accomplished in this society by doing things that bring us joy and make us feel whole
A simple practice for letting accomplishments land in the body instead of dismissing them

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 143 - Self-Silencing is Making You Sick

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 17 Dec 2025 13:00:23 GMT

A lot of the women I work with are carrying the same fear: the fear of disappointing other people. We were taught that being good means being nice, low-maintenance, and emotionally contained–even when it costs us. But staying silent doesn’t just strain our relationships; it takes a real toll on our bodies and our health. In this episode, I explore how self-silencing is making women sick, why it quietly creates resentment and loneliness, and simple ways to start speaking up and building more health, honesty, and real connection in your life. Here’s what I cover:

A Time article that dives into the statistics and psychology behind women and self-silencing
How staying quiet to keep the peace actually prevents real closeness
The cultural conditioning that causes self-silencing and why it’s not your fault
Why your emotions are a rich source of information about your needs and well-being
Three core skills that will help you be more honest without abandoning yourself

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.instagram.com/unravelingfree

Episode 142 - Understanding Religious Trauma Part 2 with Kendra Hill

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 13:00:12 GMT

Some social structures can hold us for a time, but if they don’t expand as we grow, they eventually become suffocating and cause more harm than good. The decision to step out of that container can feel destabilizing, but it opens you up to a deeper sense of self-trust and allows you to see your own growth with more clarity. In part two of my conversation with licensed therapist Kendra Hill, we explore her Religious Trauma Checklist and discuss how naming these patterns can help you recognize the progress you’ve already made, and continue unraveling religious trauma with love. If you haven’t listened to part one yet, make sure to start there. Here’s what we cover:

Why it can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you when you lose religious certainty
How trauma reorganizes your inner world and why old structures eventually stop working
The grief of outgrowing a belief system or community that once felt like home
Kendra’s “soup” metaphor for rejecting everything before reclaiming what still fits
What it looks like to rebuild self-trust and walk away from environments that don’t honor you

Kendra Hill is a neurodivergent artist, beauty seeker, exvangelical, and believer in people. By profession she is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the State of Colorado and an online coach across the nation with a specific focus on providing space for those who have some kind of religious background, religious trauma, are deconstructing their faith, or come from high control environments. She has recently relocated to New York City but remains passionate about holding space for people's stories - especially the ones it seems like no one else understands. Kendra co-owns a private practice called Unraveling Free Therapy & Coaching and is currently accepting new clients.

Find Kendra here:

www.unravelingfree.com

https://unravelingfree.com/religious-trauma-checklist-freebie

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.instagram.com/unravelingfree

Episode 141 - Understanding Religious Trauma Part 1 with Kendra Hill

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 03 Dec 2025 13:00:07 GMT

People-pleasing and codependent tendencies often stem from a religious upbringing. In my own journey of unraveling those behaviors, I’ve had to confront what I was taught to believe about God, obedience, and how “being good” kept me in line. In part one of my conversation with licensed therapist Kendra Hill, we define religious trauma and explore how fear, bypassing, and chronic self-surveillance get wired into us. Here’s what we cover:

Why many women feel terrified to stop people pleasing when religion is involved
How growing up with a fear of divine punishment can shape your nervous system
The difference between religious trauma and religious hurt
How spiritual bypassing teaches us to ignore our emotions
What happens when you’re taught to trust authority instead of trusting yourself

Find Kendra here:

www.unravelingfree.com

https://unravelingfree.com/religious-trauma-checklist-freebie

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.instagram.com/lifecoach_allyssya

Episode 140 - Being a Highly Sensitive Woman with Allyssya Gossett

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 26 Nov 2025 13:00:27 GMT

In this episode, I talk with coach and host of The Highly Sensitive Woman podcast, Allyssya Gossett. Sensitivity has shaped Allyssya’s life and how she moves through the world, and now she helps other highly sensitive women understand that nothing is “wrong” with them, but that there’s actually incredible strength in the way they’re wired. Today, we talk about what it means to be highly sensitive and how embracing your sensitivity allows you to live more authentically. Here’s what we cover:

The definition of a highly sensitive person and how to recognize the signs in yourself
How I discovered my sensitivity after years of not having the language for it
The wide spectrum of sensitivity and how it shows up differently for everyone
Barriers that prevent sensitive women from understanding and honoring their needs
How embracing your sensitivity empowers you to advocate for yourself without shame
Resources for learning how to take care of yourself as a highly sensitive person

For decades, Allyssya struggled to believe she was worthy of taking up space in the world. She listened to society’s rules for how she “should” be or feel, made herself small to accommodate others, and tried to put herself in a box just to fit in. Not embracing her true self led to years of debilitating anxiety and depression. Once she embraced who she is and how she was created, Allyssya learned to challenge those old beliefs, stop worrying so much about what others think of her, and step outside her comfort zone so she could confidently live a life she created instead of one chosen for her. The self-acceptance journey fueled her passion for sharing her experiences and knowledge with others as a life coach and podcast host, helping other highly sensitive women just like her let go of self-doubt, find their voice, and live with internal peace and bold confidence.

Find Allyssya here:

info@allyssya.coach

https://www.facebook.com/lifecoachallyssya

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-highly-sensitive-woman-confidence-set-boundaries

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 139 - A Four-Step Plan for a Holiday That Actually Feels Good

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 19 Nov 2025 13:00:39 GMT

We all want the holidays to feel meaningful and connected, but the pressure to meet expectations often pulls us away from what truly matters to us. Between obligations, traditions, cooking, cleaning, and planning, we often miss out on quality time with the people we care about or a chance to rest. If you’re exhausted just thinking about putting on another holiday for everyone else, this episode will walk you through a simple four-step framework to help you create the holiday season you actually want. Here’s what I cover:

Why people-pleasing is at an all-time high during the holidays
Three questions to help you pause and ask yourself what you truly want
How to predict the discomfort that comes with prioritizing yourself
An exercise to write down what support you need to make the holiday you want possible
How to mentally rehearse the holiday and regulate your nervous system beforehand

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/happier-holidays-for-widowed-moms/

Episode 138 - Grief Isn’t Linear: Learning to Carry What You’ve Lost with Krista St-Germain

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 12 Nov 2025 13:00:17 GMT

Many of us know that grief isn’t linear, yet so much of what we’re taught still has us trying to get it “right.” In this conversation, I’m joined by Krista St-Germain, life coach, grief guide for widows, and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. Krista shares how she helps women navigate grief with self-compassion, gentleness, and kindness, and stop making themselves wrong for what they feel. This episode isn’t just for those who’ve lost a spouse, but for anyone navigating loss and learning not to “fix” their feelings, but to create more capacity to hold them. Here’s what we cover:

Why grief can’t be defined by the familiar “stages” and why it doesn’t end with acceptance
How healing comes from increasing your capacity to support yourself, not from trying to change what you feel
What secondary losses look like and how they reveal the ongoing nature of grief
How to stop making yourself wrong for what you feel and practice meeting your emotions with compassion instead
Why we sometimes feel uncomfortable around grief and how to show up for others in a way that is truly helpful
The importance of normalizing sadness and modeling healthy grief, especially for children

Find Krista here:

https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/podcast/

https://www.instagram.com/lifecoachkrista/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 137 - Why Are We Trying To Make It Look Easy?

Sara Bybee Fisk — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 13:00:41 GMT

On the surface, high-achieving people-pleasers are admired by everyone. We seem to have it all together—never complaining about our workload and always showing up prepared and polished. But the effort to make everything look easy, even when we’re struggling, comes at a huge cost. In this episode, I discuss why we do this and how to start releasing ourselves from the constant performance so we can feel supported, helped, and loved, rather than staying trapped in a cycle of loneliness and resentment. Here’s what I cover:

Examples that highlight how high-achievers hide their struggles
The underlying beliefs that drive this behavior and where they come from
Why your body eventually refuses to keep up the performance
The red flags that signal when you’ve become trapped in trying to make things look easy
What it takes to begin unraveling this pattern and show up with authenticity instead

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://meaganskidmorecoaching.com

Episode 136 - Choosing Love Over Certainty with Meagan Skidmore

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 12:00:34 GMT

Our good girl programming is built on the certainty that if we follow the rules and keep everyone happy, we’ll belong. But what happens when stepping into deeper love and connection also means stepping into the uncertainty that comes with unraveling that conditioning? In this episode, I talk with Meagan Skidmore, Life Transformation Coach and author of TransparentSEE: How I Learned to SEE through My Journey as a Parent of a Transgender Kiddo. We explore what it means to trust your inner knowing, even when it leads you down an unfamiliar path, and how doing so can radically transform your relationships with others and with yourself. Here’s what we cover:

How growing up in the LDS faith shaped Meagan’s sense of belonging
The pain of feeling forced to choose between two things that are meaningful to you
Why slowing can provide you with the patience and openness needed to make space for uncertainty
The importance of creating safe spaces where you can explore and questions
Why the loss of certainty can be a doorway to a new version of yourself, your family, and your faith

Meagan Skidmore is a Life Transformation Coach who empowers her clients to navigate life transitions and step into their fullest potential. Life transitions have a way of presenting the opportunity to reset our identity, reassess our values, and process emotions—becoming the witnessing observer of our experiences instead of letting them define us.

Meagan helps people awaken to their truth, crush the boxes that confine them, and step boldly into their power, stop lying to themselves and live authentically and unapologetically. With a holistic approach, Meagan guides clients to use emotional alchemy to help them connect with their bodies and hear their Inner Wisdom. This creates space to truly embody their core values and live in alignment. Whether you’re facing change or seeking alignment, Meagan offers the support and tools you need to turn what seems a life crisis into a beautiful metamorphosis.

Find Meagan here:

https://www.instagram.com/meaganskidmorecoaching

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100064267982984

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-inner-catalyst/id1843004454

https://www.youtube.com/@meaganskidmorecoachingllc8331/featured

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://callingsandcourage.com/

Episode 135 - Staying in Relationships Even with Differences

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 22 Oct 2025 12:00:02 GMT

Sometimes it's hard to imagine how we can stay in relationships where there are huge differences–political, religious, or otherwise. In this conversation with my friend Katherine Golub on her podcast Conflict Decoded, I talk about how I’ve worked with the part of myself that just wants to stay safe–to only talk to people who agree with me and see information that confirms my beliefs–to stay in relationships that matter, even when we don’t share the same views. Here’s what I cover:

How people-pleasing kept me at the church even after my mind and heart had left the building
The moment I realized, “I think we’re wrong about this,” and how terrifying it was to hold that belief
How I used scripture to back up my personal beliefs and was punished for it within the church
The complexity of discerning who to maintain relationships with despite your differences
Why safety must come first when moving toward relationships with people that you disagree with

Find Katherine here:

https://callingsandcourage.com/podcasts/

https://www.instagram.com/katherinegolub/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 134 - Keep Going but Be Gentle

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 15 Oct 2025 12:00:21 GMT

Even with the powerful growth that can happen in coaching, the pressure cooker we’re all living in—the broken systems, the financial stress, the world that feels terrifying—can make everything feel harder, and much of it is beyond our control. But it doesn’t feel hard because you’re weak; it feels hard because it is hard. In this episode, I talk about how remarkable it is that we keep going—keep showing up for ourselves and others—despite it all, and how to be gentler with ourselves in the process. Here’s what I cover:

A powerful coaching conversation about self-doubt and resilience
What it looks like to let more than one thing be true at once
Why “every little bit counts” when everything feels impossible
How to know when your body is asking for rest instead of pushing harder
The power of staying connected to yourself when you can’t fix everything in the world

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 133 - What Avoiding Conflict Really Costs You

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 08 Oct 2025 12:00:58 GMT

Conflict is one of the most paradoxical things I’ve encountered—in my own life and in the lives of my clients. For those of us who have been shaped by good girl conditioning, conflict most often feels like danger and disconnection. But when it happens within a container of safety and self-connection, it becomes a doorway to vulnerability, intimacy, and power. In this episode, I explore why we avoid conflict and share personal stories that demonstrate the freedom you can find when you say what needs to be said. Here’s what I cover:

How the emotional burden of unspoken words lives in the body
How cultural and gender conditioning teach people socialized as women to stay silent
Two real-life examples of how I apply what I teach about conflict and communication
Why self-love and compassion are essential for knowing when and how to speak up
How practicing the skills to have hard conversations leads to freedom and connection

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 132 - How Over-Apologizing Hurts You and How to Stop

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 01 Oct 2025 12:00:31 GMT

Because every one of us has been raised with the good girl rules—to be nice, agreeable, and never rock the boat—almost every woman I work with has the habit of over-apologizing. You’re capable, you’re accomplished, and you work hard, yet “sorry” slips out at the beginning of every sentence. In this episode, we explore how over-apologizing hurts you and how to practice a different way of showing up. Here’s what I cover:

How over-apologizing lowers your authority in other people's eyes and trains your own brain to see yourself as less valuable
Why it’s important to consider what you’re trying to accomplish with your apology
Why pausing before you speak is the foundation for breaking your over-apologizing habit
The power you’ll reclaim when you replace “I’m sorry” with “thank you”
Why increasing your capacity for discomfort is key to stopping over-apologizing
A practical homework assignment to complete your own apology audit

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Episode 131 - End Emotional Outsourcing with Béa Albina

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 24 Sep 2025 12:00:17 GMT

When you stop outsourcing your safety, belonging, and worth, you discover the freedom of authenticity–of knowing who you are and what you want. In this episode, I speak with Béa Albina about her new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. You’ll hear how this book not only outlines a clear path to end this painful way of living, but reframes emotional outsourcing in powerful new ways. Here’s what we cover:

The definition of emotional outsourcing and how it shows up in our relationships, careers, and decision-making
Why emotional outsourcing is a brilliant survival strategy, not a personality flaw
The truth about authenticity and why it’s often the cost of people-pleasing and perfectionism
How emotional outsourcing lives in the nervous system and why healing has to include the body
Béa’s five-part process for rebuilding self-trust through small, “kitten-sized” steps

Beatriz (Béa) Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP (she/her) is a UCSF-trained Family Nurse Practitioner, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Master Certified Somatic Life Coach, author of the forthcoming "End Emotional Outsourcing: a Guide to Overcoming Codependent, Perfectionist and People Pleasing Habits" ( Sept 30, Hachette Balance) and Breathwork Meditation Guide with a passion for helping humans socialized as women to reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems and rewire their minds, so they can break free from codependency, perfectionism and people pleasing and reclaim their joy.

Find Béa here:

https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/

https://www.facebook.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp

https://beatrizalbina.com/podcast/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 130 - Being Seen in the Relationships that Matter Most

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 10 Sep 2025 12:00:17 GMT

Do you edit parts of yourself out of relationships because you're afraid of how people will react? Do you self-silence when you know what you have to say might not be pleasing to others? There is real discomfort in showing up authentically because it means risking rejection from the people we’re closest to. But the alternative comes with its own pain: the sadness and loneliness of not being seen for who we truly are. Neither type of discomfort is easy to face, but in this episode, I share how you can choose between them and take small, brave steps toward relationships where you can be fully seen. Here’s what I cover:

The two types of discomfort that people pleasing creates in relationships
Why it’s easy to choose authenticity in some relationships but not others—and why that difficulty is completely normal
A personal story about a friendship where I felt the pull between hiding and being seen
Why loving the parts of yourself that used to hide is essential for change
Questions to help you identify where you can choose authenticity in your relationships

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 129 - How to Break the Habit of Auto Accommodating

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 03 Sep 2025 12:00:22 GMT

When you’re asked to take on extra work, stay late at the office, or do a favor for a friend or family member, do you ever say “yes” automatically, without thinking about what it will actually cost you? This habit is known as auto-accommodating, and it’s so common among people pleasers that I've decided to dedicate an episode to it. In this episode, we explore the programming behind auto-accommodating and how to practice pausing before you respond so your answer is actually aligned with your needs and desires. Here’s what I cover:

How we are programmed to conflate accommodation with reward, safety, and connection
3 questions to help you understand the part of yourself that habitually auto-accommodates
How toxic capitalism reinforces the idea that our worth comes from serving others at our own expense
Why going back and revising an automatic “yes” will help you build your pause muscle
How to avoid self-judgment around your fear of saying “no”
A phrase to use when you want to contribute without auto-accommodating

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 128 - How to Get Out of the Self-Doubt Spiral

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 27 Aug 2025 12:00:23 GMT

Have you ever caught yourself in a self-doubt spiral, wondering if you’re overreacting, if you’re missing something, or if everyone else just knows better than you? The experience of self-doubt is so familiar for women, especially because of the patriarchal system we live in. But you deserve to feel confident in your emotions and your assessments. In this episode, I dive into why it feels so automatic to doubt ourselves and how you can begin to change that inner monologue. Here’s what I cover:

What internal self-doubt actually sounds like
Examples of behaviors that stem from self-doubt
How Dr. Becky Kennedy explains the development of self-doubt in children
How patriarchy gives boys and girls very different messages about the validity of their self-doubt
The two voices inside us as women—the voice of care and the voice of self–and how to balance them
An exercise to help you work with both voices so you can feel more confident

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://callingsandcourage.com/

Episode 127 - Radical Discernment: Balancing Self-Care and Collective Care with Katherine Golub

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 20 Aug 2025 12:00:04 GMT

I’m so excited to welcome Katherine Golub to the podcast today. Katherine and I have so much in common–not only our journeys of breaking free from good girl rules, but also our commitment to community organizing and social change. She is a coach for leaders and activists who want to continue showing up for their communities without burning out. In this conversation, we explore the polarity between personal and collective needs, and how radical discernment can help you step into the life you want. Here’s what we cover:

Why we have to choose to take care of our needs before we can do so
The definition of radical discernment and how it helps balance personal and collective care
What resonance actually looks like and how it can help when you're overwhelmed
The importance of only focusing on the next right thing
How curiosity can help when it’s difficult to imagine what you want

Find Katherine here:

https://callingsandcourage.com/podcasts/

https://www.instagram.com/katherinegolub/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://michaelanngardner.com/

Episode 126 - The Body Knows: Faith, The Wisdom of Desire, and Telling the Truth with Michaelann Gardner

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 13 Aug 2025 12:00:00 GMT

In this conversation, I’m joined by the author of Sovereign, hypnotist, and fellow ex-Mormon, Michaelann Gardner. Sovereign explores chronic pain, marriage, and faith in a way that connects to the experiences and stories of so many women—even those who don’t share the same religious background. It’s about sex, disordered eating, and divorce, but it’s also about finding your desire and allowing it to guide you into a promised land that may look different from what you imagined. Here’s what we cover:

How the story of Adam and Eve became a framework to explore ideas about faith, bodies, and reconciliation
How the wisdom of desire can act as a powerful guide if we trust it to lead us
The reawakening of hunger and desire as a catalyst for telling the truth to ourselves and others
How cultural conditioning impacts the way both men and women show up in marriage and sex
The disconnect between the church’s view of sex as “sacred” and the lived experience of sex
How the pain of disconnection and dishonesty manifests in the bodies

Find Michaelann here:

https://www.instagram.com/michaelann.gardner

https://www.amazon.com/Sovereign-Michaelann-Gardner/dp/1961471175

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 125 - What I'm Learning About Joy, Rest, and Pleasure

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 06 Aug 2025 12:00:58 GMT

In the self-help space, it’s easy to assume someone else has it all together. The truth is, nobody does. While I have some answers—and I certainly can provide help to stop people-pleasing—I’m still learning, too. Today, I’m sharing recent changes and insights from my own life to offer an honest look at the messy, yet beautiful, journey of healing—and to remind you that joy, grief, and desire can all coexist. Here’s what I cover:

How religious scriptures shaped my beliefs about worthiness–and how I’ve grown into a deeper sense of connection
Why rest, joy, pleasure, and loving your f*cking life are powerful acts of resistance
Why I stepped away from social media and how it has allowed me to show up more fully in my life
How retreating to my love of fiction provided me with a soul-deep relief
How I have become more fully present in my body and my power through pleasure
How I learned that “Am I enough?” was never the right question to ask

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 124 - How Did I Get Stuck and How Do I Get Unstuck?

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 12:00:50 GMT

I hear people use the word “stuck” all the time to describe problems or situations, but what does it really mean? You might feel stuck in a relationship you want to change but don’t know how, or caught in a pattern you keep repeating even when it no longer feels good. I’ve been reflecting on what it really means to be stuck—not just to understand it better, but to find language and tools that actually help. In this episode, I’m sharing what I’ve discovered to offer you deeper context around the feeling of being stuck and what you can do about it. Here’s what I cover:

Why feeling stuck in people-pleasing isn’t your fault
How feeling stuck in one area can have a big impact on your life overall
The insight from Esther Perel that shaped my thinking on this topic
Why stuck systems have all stability and no change and what we need instead
The key to change: teaching your parts that it’s safe to feel a little unsafe
How to begin experimenting with authenticity in small, safe ways

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://ihaveadhd.com/podcast/

Episode 123 - Living with ADHD and Letting Go of Good Girl Rules with Kristen Carder

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 23 Jul 2025 12:00:58 GMT

Living with ADHD means it doesn’t disappear once you find success–you can be kind, loving, respectful and still show up with your ADHD when you connect with yourself and take accountability. Today, I’m bringing you a conversation from the I Have ADHD podcast, where I was interviewed by Kristen Carder. We talk about my journey of being diagnosed with ADHD in midlife, the relationship between neurodivergence and people-pleasing, and how I became an ex-good girl. Here’s what we cover:

How “ADHD brain” can impact your life even when you have good intentions
How my ADHD diagnosis later in life brought both clarity and grief
My approach to seeking help managing perimenopause
Why self-abandonment is at the heart of people-pleasing
What it truly means to be an ex-good girl and how to reclaim your voice

Find Kristen here:

https://ihaveadhd.com/

https://www.instagram.com/i.have.adhd.podcast/

https://www.facebook.com/ihaveadhdpodcast

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 122 - Signs You're Ready For a Bigger Life!

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 16 Jul 2025 12:00:53 GMT

As women, we receive so much messaging about how big our lives are allowed to be. Whether it’s patriarchy, childhood conditioning, or the communities we’re part of, many women learn that being convenient, optimistic, and helpful makes them lovable. Even though it isn’t true, that influence often keeps us from living our lives in a bigger way. In this episode, we explore the signs that your life is too small for you and how you can start to live a life that’s as honest and expressive as you want. Here's what I cover:

How to recognize when your life has become too small by how your body feels
The most common signs that you're ready to take your life to the next level
Why your dreams feeling impossible or selfish is a signal that you’re ready for change
How resentment and irritation can show up under the surface when you feel stuck in a small life
How emotional suppression can lead to real issues that affect women’s health
An example of how my life changed when I learned how to say what needed to be said

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 121 - Part 2: Are People Pleasers Liars? (And Why That's Not The Real Problem)

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 09 Jul 2025 12:00:13 GMT

Last week, I shared an interactive episode about people-pleasing and lying—today, we’re continuing the conversation. In this episode, I offer an approach that is based not on the morality of telling the truth, but on your values and human need for safety. We’ll take a deeper look at why we lie, the hidden costs it can have in our relationships, and how you can be more truthful in safe, selective places to foster connection to yourself and others. Here’s what I cover:

How good-girl programming wires us to lie in order to please and avoid conflict
The huge role that the nervous system plays in why we lie
When lying can still be a necessary and useful tool
How we separate children from the truth of their bodies and punish them for honesty
Why protecting yourself is not the same as deceiving someone else
How to build more honesty in your life one relationship at a time

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 120 - INTERACTIVE EPISODE: Are People Pleasers Liars?

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 02 Jul 2025 12:00:52 GMT

Lying is such an interesting topic—and after working with many women who feel stuck in patterns of people-pleasing, I’ve learned that lying and truth-telling are far more complex than they may seem. I’m not talking about lies meant to cause harm, but the everyday ones we tell to keep ourselves safe and comfortable: saying we’re fine when we’re not, or yes when we mean no. In this interactive episode, I’m introducing the framework I’ll be using to explore this topic and offering reflections to help you understand your patterns around people-pleasing and lying. Here’s what I cover:

Why lying is not a character flaw of people-pleasers, but a survival strategy
How childhood experiences influence our beliefs and behaviors around truth
How lying creates a disconnect in our relationships—with ourselves and others
Why telling the truth requires internal safety and nervous system regulation
Reflection questions to help you notice why you may choose to lie in certain situations

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

Episode 119 - Patriarchy 101: How It Was Created and What To Do About It Now

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 25 Jun 2025 12:00:23 GMT

Patriarchy is a system that has shaped our world for thousands of years, which can make unpacking the topic feel overwhelming. Today, I offer a basic overview of patriarchy with specific examples that show how we got here and how it continues to influence us today. Awareness is the key to greater power and greater choice in your life. I hope that this episode provides you with insights and practical ways to claim both. Here’s what I cover:

The complexities of patriarchy beyond the idea that “men are in charge”
How patriarchy was developed as a social technology in response to historical issues
Laws and political systems that were created to entrench patriarchy in society
How to recognize patriarchy in action in today’s society
The ways patriarchy is internalized by people of all genders
How humans created this system, so we can also choose to evolve beyond it

I can’t wait for you to listen!

Book Recommendations for Further Reading:

The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner - A comprehensive historical analysis of how patriarchal systems developed and became institutionalized
Untamed by Glennon Doyle - A powerful exploration of unlearning patriarchal conditioning and discovering your authentic self
The Authority Gap by Mary Ann Sieghart - Examines how women are systematically undermined and taken less seriously than men across all areas of life
bell hooks: All About Love by bell hooks - Explores how patriarchal systems damage our capacity for love and authentic connection

Research and Studies Referenced:

Archaeological evidence on egalitarian pre-agricultural societies:

“The Gender Equality Paradox” - https://www.pnas.org/content/early/2018/04/16/1717312115
National Academy of Sciences research on prehistoric gender roles - https://www.nationalacademies.org/based-on-science/prehistoric-gender-roles
How Did Patriarchy Actually Begin?

Medical research gender bias:

“Gender bias in pain assessment and treatment recommendations” - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11441203/
Journal of Law, Medicine & Ethics study on pain treatment disparities - https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/jlme.12040

The mental load research:

Arlie Hochschild’s “The Second Shift” research - https://sociology.berkeley.edu/sites/default/files/faculty/hochschild/pdf/SecondShift.pdf
Emotional labor studies - https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122412472680

Confidence gap research:

Kay & Shipman Harvard Business Review article - https://hbr.org/2014/08/why-women-dont-apply-for-jobs-unless-theyre-100-qualified
The Atlantic confidence gap study - https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/05/the-confidence-gap/359090/

Language and gender studies:

Linguistic Society of America research - https://www.linguisticsociety.org/resource/language-and-gender
Gender bias in language patterns study - https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-17914-001
The Languages with Built-in Sexism

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://getcoached.jennyhobbsmd.com/adhdtoolkit

Episode 118 - ADHD, Perimenopause, and the Good Girl Trap with Jenny Hobbs

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 18 Jun 2025 12:00:27 GMT

Parenting and relationships can take on a unique dynamic when neurodivergence is part of your life—whether it's your own diagnosis or that of your partner or kids. Today, you’ll hear my conversation with Jenny Hobbs, a physician and a life coach who works with women navigating ADHD and autism in themselves or their families. We explore what ADHD looks like for women, why it often goes undiagnosed until adulthood, and the range of resources available to help. Here’s what we cover:

Why there tends to be an overlap between ADHD and autism diagnoses
How good girl programming affects the way neurodivergence shows up in women
Masking techniques make ADHD in women harder to recognize
Specific signs and patterns that may indicate ADHD
The link between ADHD diagnoses and perimenopause
Practical strategies for managing ADHD regardless of your financial situation

I can’t wait for you to listen.

Mentioned resources:

https://www.meganannaneff.com/

https://libbyapp.com/

Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell Barkley

Dr. Jenny Hobbs is a life coach and practicing physician who specializes in supporting working moms in neurodivergent families. Diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and raising an autistic/ADHD family of her own, she brings both personal insight and professional expertise to her work. Dr. Hobbs helps overwhelmed, burned-out moms navigate the unique challenges of parenting and marriage in neurodivergent households—so they can stop feeling like they're failing and start enjoying their family again.

Find Jenny here:

www.jennyhobbsmd.com

https://www.instagram.com/jennyhobbsmd/

https://www.facebook.com/jennyhobbsmd

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.wendymontgomery.com/

Episode 117 - The Enneagram for People Pleasers Part 2 with Wendy Montgomery

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 04 Jun 2025 12:00:31 GMT

Today, I’m back with part two of my conversation with Enneagram coach Wendy Montgomery. In part one, we explored the nine Enneagram types and how people-pleasing can show up for each one. Now, we’re diving into what healing these habits looks like for each type and how the Enneagram can act as a guide for transformation. Here’s what we cover:

Why self-awareness is key to reducing people-pleasing tendencies
A type-by-type analysis of how the shift away from people pleasing can happen
Why healing is a journey, not an arrival–even with the help of the Enneagram
How to offer yourself grace and compassion when overcoming people-pleasing
A healing message for each Enneagram type

Find Wendy here:

https://www.instagram.com/wendymontcoach/

https://www.facebook.com/people/Wendy-Montgomery-Coaching/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.wendymontgomery.com/

Episode 116 - The Enneagram for People Pleasers Part 1 with Wendy Montgomery

Sara Bybee Fisk — Wed, 28 May 2025 12:00:23 GMT

I have been so excited to have my dear friend and Enneagram coach, Wendy Montgomery, on the podcast. The Enneagram is an expansive and incredible tool that has helped me understand myself and those around me in a whole new way. In this two-part conversation, you’ll learn about all nine types and the insight they offer into why and how we people-please. Here’s what we cover:

The characteristics, core motivator, and core fear of each Enneagram type
Why understanding your Enneagram type can help lessen people-pleasing tendencies
How the Enneagram triads offer further insight into your type
The unique ways people-pleasing shows up for every type
A question for each type to ask themselves to gain more self-awareness
How gender stereotypes can impact Enneagram analysis

Find Wendy here:

https://www.instagram.com/wendymontcoach/

https://www.facebook.com/people/Wendy-Montgomery-Coaching/

Find Sara here:

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations