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When Mental Load Makes You Want to Hide

A solo episode on cognitive friction, unfinished loops, and why “trying harder” isn’t always the answer.


Sometimes we think we’re avoiding people, tasks, or responsibilities — but what we’re actually avoiding is the mental load attached to them.


In this solo episode, Renae explores how The Hermit can show up when the mind feels too full: too many open loops, unfinished projects, unanswered texts, unclear next steps, and not enough capacity to find a clean starting point. This episode is a compassionate look at what can appear as avoidance, procrastination, or withdrawal — and how to respond with sorting, support, and one next step that fits your actual capacity.


In this episode

  • Why mental overload can make connection and follow-through feel expensive
  • How unfinished loops can drain your energy and increase the desire to hide
  • The difference between true rest, protective withdrawal, and shutdown
  • Why “just try harder” often creates more cost later
  • How ADHD, hyperfocus, novelty, and unfinished projects can complicate completion
  • Why caregivers often need small markers of completion inside long, ongoing processes
  • A simple 3-column mental load sort: Now / Not Now / I Need Support
  • How to ask: “What is one next step that fits my actual capacity?”


Listener Practice: The 3-Column Mental Load Sort

When everything feels loud, tangled, or too expensive to start, try writing down what’s taking up space in your mind.

Then sort each item into one of three columns:


  • Now - What actually needs attention soon?
  • Not Now - What is loud, but not urgent or not for this moment?
  • I Need Support - What matters, but cannot be carried alone?


Then ask:

What is one next step that fits my actual capacity?


Not the perfect step.

Not the whole plan.

Just one step that tells the truth about what’s available to you right now.


Key Takeaway

You are not lazy, broken, or failing because something feels hard to start. Sometimes the work is not to push harder — it’s to reduce the open loops, sort the mental load, and create the conditions for one gentle next step.


Resources

Explore more resources from Renae M. Dupuis:

https://renaemdupuis.com/


The Pause Membership:

https://renaemdupuis.com/the-pause-membership/