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It’s Not You, It’s the Container


When systems, roles, and schedules don’t fit—and you stop taking the blame.


What if you’re not “too much” or “too sensitive” or “bad at life”—what if the container you’re in just doesn’t fit?

In this conversation, Renae and Laura unpack how misaligned systems, job descriptions, expectations, and schedules quietly convince us that we are the problem. They talk about why multitasking is a myth, how unclear roles fry our nervous systems, and what changes when you design containers (time, work, relationships) around real capacity instead of endless output.


You’ll also hear about “potato days,” daily alignment rituals, and why being clear about what you need doesn’t make you high-maintenance—it makes you honest.


What You’ll Hear

  • It’s not a you-problem: how mismatched containers (roles, jobs, schedules, family expectations) create shame and burnout
  • Multitasking is a myth: why constant task-switching drains focus, creativity, and emotional regulation
  • Being known at work: stories of misaligned job descriptions, outdated titles, and the relief of being seen for your actual strengths
  • Containers as care: time blocks, expectations, and communication that support your nervous system instead of attacking it
  • Buffering & margin: micro-pauses to check in, transition, and choose wise next steps instead of reacting
  • Daily alignment: Renae’s heart–mind–body–soul check-in and why she craves it on the days it doesn’t happen
  • “Potato days” + self-compassion: a gentler way to move through low-capacity days
  • High-maintenance vs. high-clarity: claiming your needs without demanding everyone match your regulation level


Try This (3–5 Minute Practice)

  • Name one container that isn’t working. A meeting, a weekly rhythm, a job task, a family routine…
  • Ask: What about this setup makes my body tense or checked out?
  • Adjust ONE thing about the container: Shorten it, move it, split it, add a break, clarify your role, or limit how often it happens.
  • Add a buffer. 5–10 minutes before or after that container to: use the bathroom, get water, stretch, breathe, or write one “next step” instead of spinning.
  • Do a mini alignment check:
  • Heart: What am I feeling about this container?
  • Mind: What story am I telling about myself here?
  • Body: What do I physically need before/after it?
  • Soul: What would make this feel 5% more like “me”?
  • If today is a low-capacity day, remind yourself: “It’s not that I’m broken. This container might not fit—and I’m allowed to adjust.”


Links & Resources


Credits:

Host: Renae M. Dupuis

Co-host: Laura Rees